culture

See Worthy

Seeing 

sounds

like looking,

but looking

more closely,

supposedly

what we see-

though we may

disagree-

is processed

internally;

while looking

outwardly

is the action

that allows

us to see.

We look 

good

when we

appear

sincere

and cohere

to a point

of view.

What others

see 

is not

necessarily

our intention

but a form

of convention

even 

if unconventional.

Signaling status

or virtue

or aspiration,

our communication

is mostly

visible.

Yet we are

miserable

when 

misperceived

as unachieved

as per 

our intentions.

Seeing connections

requires 

looking

and thinking;

linking 

between

what may

be seen

and what

is shown,

making itself

known

as related.

Making contact,

in fact,

creates 

continuity

and unity

in thought,

action,

and relation.

This creation

is what

we look for

and endure

when we 

see

love.

But do we

actually 

see

need?

Or greed?

Or just

agreement?

Or disagreement

cemented,

keeping

us tormented

still wanting

to be right?

Sight

acknowledges

with understanding

that compatibility

is different

from uniformity

and the enormity

of possibility

requires

looking for 

rapport

and seeing

humanity

in all its

incongruity.

Separation Anxiety

Wait…

Are we

breaking

up?

or down?

I thought

you taught

me 

everything

I knew

without

knowing.

I threw

myself

into 

you,

believing

the conceiving

was a

how-to

create

fulfilling

life.

Strife 

is inevitable,

but this

is incredible

in the worst

way.

Our 

ancestors

split

into the pit

of war

and tore

themselves

apart.

The scars

inflamed

but were

tamed

until

recently.

The cult 

of personality

of indecency

is claiming

it’s all 

about

policy.

You want

to be

free 

from 

Me?

You,

who insist

on Christ

first

as a

gun toting

misogynist

and homophobe

in a judge’s

robe,

without

limit

to prohibit

that which

you deem

oppressive.

You

are

overtaxed?

It’s impressive

how simple

minded

people

like

to be

told

day and night

that they

are right

to be

aggrieved

and wanting

to be

free.

A civil 

war?

A cold

war?

A revolution?

It feels

like dissolution

of the evolution

of what could

be 

a better

future;

a more

perfect

union.

I see

the enemy

of the good.

We should

be able

to reconcile,

but the infantile

bile

has been

weaponized

to legitimize

some fantasized

perversion,

while an infantilized

conversion

has materialized

before

my eyes. 

I’m still surprised

by this uprising,

making

it seem

like our thing

was a long

fling.

But truth

is enduring

despite

luring

attempts

to 

undo

US.

We have

much

work

to do;

not just

to protect

and defend,

but mend.

I can’t 

pretend

it’s just

one

election

to be

won.

But it 

could be

the last

of the past

248 years.

America, Pure and Simple

We tell

our early

history

like the purity

of Eden,

as though we

began

in the 50s.

Our garden

was victorious,

and thus,

we were born

as us

in the glorious

nation

of Perry Mason.

The wrongly

accused

used 

the best 

defense

to reveal

the pretense

of the guilty.

Mid Century

Modern

beyond the 

aesthetic,

was the 

Cold War

ethic,

pure,

and 

simple.

The 60s revolt

was jolt

after jolt

to the preceding

calm

and conformity.

The enormity

of change

and a lost

war

tore

us apart.

The politics

of identity

was the new

purity

test,

while testing

nukes

against

or from

Soviets

remained

the most 

deadly threats.

After the fall

of the wall,

our Eden

seemed 

on the verge

of restoration

until 

the devastation

of 2001

took us on

an odyssey

of 

and against

hate

and crazy.

We have 

an affinity

for purity

despite

reality.

It’s practically

our DNA

to this day,

whether

individually

or societally.

It’s how we

see,

unless

we profess

to look

beyond

or respond

with inquiry.

It’s messy,

and unsatisfying

to have what

you don’t 

want

or like.

Evil

exists

just

as gravity

persists,

even though

we can

go to 

the moon

or across

the earth

through

the sky.

Our history

of purity

did not

make

America

great.

Like too much

Purell,

we lose

our ability

to quell

super 

contagions.

Our actual

history-

factual

and blistery-

is a longing

for purity

while

being

very messy.

Long before

the 50s

and the trials

that we’ve

endured,

we’ve been

lured

by purity

as morality.

Confronting

evil,

pure 

and simple,

is maybe

the purest

thing 

we can do.

No need

for perfection

or purity

test

to vociferously

and actively

object

to those who

detest

democracy,

diversity,

and the reality

that makes

America

great.

It’s not

a unified

reich.

Less is More

I hear

less used

more frequently

than what 

“should be”

fewer.

It drives me

nuts

and cuts

to my 

guts

as I wince

at the evidence

of ignorance

and intolerance

to abide

by rules

of shared

expression.

My confession

as a grammar

cop

is no

drop

the mic

situation.

I know 

the flow

of communication

is a slow

evolution

of sorts.

Each generation

adds iteration

and creates

itself

anew.

I know

I shouldn’t

hammer

the skew

in grammar

but it sounds

so wrong

to me. 

Grammar

rules!

But schools

of thought

have taught

that what

is indicated

is complicated.

Or maybe 

it’s all 

for naught.

The mixing

of quantity

and quality

reflects society’s

confusion.

“Less” 

is more

often used

than “fewer”,

as newer

conventions

take hold.

I’m not quite

sold

on what sounds

merely

lazy,

lacking knowledge

of distinctions.

But what’s

the difference?

Many hands

make 

more work

(and fewer

make less).

I know

that no

one cares

about 

my woe,

(except

perhaps

a few 

of you).

Rules

may be

meant

to be

broken,

but deciphering

meaning

is confusing

enough,

much less

when more

than intended

rules 

are upended.

Am I

crazy?

Are we 

just lazy?

Or is a hazy

recollection

of the collection

of rules

more 

or less

too much

to ask?

Speech Pathology

The right

to speak

freely

and to protest

peacefully

are hallmarks

of democracy.

Yet

the threat

of actions

from aggressive

factions

in reaction

to passions

inflamed,

has sustained

fears

of violent

incidents.

When 

the former

President-

defendant

posts

quotes 

and

anecdotes 

or notes

his

rants

against

individuals

he claims

are against

him,

he goads

and corrodes—

even erodes

codes

of ethics

and possibly 

laws.

Meanwhile,

the protests

at Columbia

etcetera,

are confounding.

Sounding

off 

on campus,

while camping

out

as classes

are in session,

is practically

tradition.

But the current

condition

of free speech

transmission

raises

the proposition

that the exhibition

is potentially

physically

dangerous

to any 

of those

who might

oppose.

Many 

have mentioned

Skokie,

the would-be

Nazi

march

through a

community

of survivors,

as an example

of ugly,

yet free, 

speech.

We live

in an ugly

time of

pathology

where 

speech

is not

merely

a trigger,

but the

ammunition

for the 

dissolution

of civil

discourse.

This pathology

is antithetical

to a functional

democracy

even when 

the speech

is free. 

In the Mean Time

In

the Mean 

Time,

adults see

difference

as deficiency,

and insufficiency

of means

as moral

failing.

In the Mean 

Time,

an embryo

has more

right

to life

than its

mother. 

In the Mean

Time,

if that embryo

develops

to be 

female,

she will

lose her

embryonic

rights.

In the Mean

Time,

the pro

life

movement

is aligned

with unfettered

access

to military

grade

weapons

that tend

to show 

up

shooting

down

schools,

churches,

clubs,

synagogues,

theaters….

etc

etc

etc….

In the Mean 

Time

putting

prisoners

to death

is deserved,

despite

claims

to (and of)

the right

to life.

In the Mean

Time,

adults

insult

others’

physicality

as abnormality

or deformity

or just ugly,

and therefore

worthy

of discussion.

Disgust

has no

end

in the 

Mean Time,

even

when others

are inspired

to harm

“hearing”

alarm

in debasing

and chasing

some ego

reinforcement

or political

endorsement.

In 

the Mean Time,

fear dictates

so a near

dictator

can reappear

as POTUS.

Where

can

we go

in

The Mean Time?

Track and Field

I track

my body’s

expenditures–

tallying

steps,

REM,

and deep

sleep.

My  convenient

device

provides

advice

to keep 

me resilient.

Physically,

it’s working;

I’m doing

better 

than expected.

But my

field

of vision

is narrowing,

as the harrowing

crises 

overwhelm these

data points.

In order 

to prevent

sleeplessness

and foster

resilience,

I need 

to care

less.

But I can’t.

We need 

to engage

in ways

that are 

interactive

and creative;

that address

the mess

from fossil

fuels

and plastic.

Truly drastic

measures

require

forgoing

pleasures

to which 

we have

become

accustomed.

Losing

trust,

witnessing

those 

intended

to see a

democracy

upended

is exhausting

to track.

And depressing.

The alienation

in this nation

is in part

caused by

a conflation

of news 

and entertainment

—infotainment—

and cruelty

so that duality,

not plurality,

is insisted

upon.

We are lost,

and the cost

is literally

killing

the country

(and others)

and the planet. 

Helplessness,

more than 

sleeplessness,

is the urgent

and important

crisis to meet.

As we track

our daily

routines,

we are 

far

afield

from living

from what

we’ve been

given.

We have 

retreated

to repeated

tasks

when what

is actually

asked

of us

is to heal

each other

and our

environment.

The Fetal Position

If you,

like me,

feel like

curling up

into 

the fetal

position

from opposition

to IVF
after feeling

helpless

about Dobbs,

then let’s

explore
The Fetal Position.

Personhood

is understood

as a fetus,

or an anonymous

contributor

(or contributing

entity)

to a PAC,

or a corporation.

Actual 

identifiable

people

are denied

rights

and 

regarded

as wrong

if they belong

to the school

of thought

that suggests

life begins

after birth.

This 

theocracy-

style

governance

is a supreme

encumbrance

not just

upon 

women,

but upon

families,

communities,

and actually,

our democracy.

Hearts,

bank accounts,

systems,

are broken

for a token

win

that doesn’t

affect

the legislators’

lives;

only the lives

and livelihoods

of those 

deemed

killing

personhoods

for securing

safer living

of actual

human beings.

The tortured

logic

for the gynecologic

obsessions

and supposed

transgressions

are injections

of a particular

(and peculiar)

religious

interpretation.

The anti-science

reliance

on a bible

as the guide

for literal

fetal

legal

accountability

will never

provide

sustainability.

From my

current fetal

position

I can only

suggest 

that The Fetal

Position,

whose

mission

is prohibition,

abolition,

and ammunition

against

the proposition

of complexity

of life

and governance,

is a minority

of a party

whose priority

is superiority,

of course,

but also 

authority

over others—

God fearing,

because

inspiring

fear

is what

they revere.

Fearing

government

and science

as slippery

slopes

promotes

anti-expert

(so-called

elite)

pronouncements.

Their

Fetal Position

is conceived 

from religious

interpretation

now codified

as legislation.

We can’t 

let our fear

keep us

in the

fetal position.

Find ways

to contribute

to uproot

this acute

and chronic

assault

on the embroyonic

and the Fetal

Position.

In Tolerance

When I am

in

tolerance

mode,

I accept

what is

and 

what is 

not

to my

liking.

Except,

it’s now 

hard 

to remember

tolerating

what I 

don’t like.

The noise

from the

train

of thought

is more

tolerable

than

the noise

on the tracks

(that tracks)

outside

my mind.

That which

offends

me

I defend

against.

In tolerance

mode,

I recognize

compromise 

as a potential.

But the torrential

down

pouring

of cynicism

and tribalism

for the sake

of upping

the ante

of the anti-

agreeable

for the foreseeable

future,

is intolerable

to me.

I tune out

more

each day,

as avoidance

fosters

my endurance

without

the persistence

of the nonsense.

In tolerance

mode,

I can listen

and know

I can

respect.

I suspect

those opportunities

are in your

communities

more than

you know.

I find

myself

in tolerance

mode,

when being

among

real people

who want

to meet,

not compete

for likes.

But I’d like

people

to like this

and share

these conversation

starters—

as I think

we are partners

in

tolerance—

in 

consonance

with a need

greater than

 dominance.

So Much Winning

The big surprise

was not 

the primary

prize.

Although

a disappointment

for her

and now less

of a contest,

the best

is not

necessarily

who gets

voted in.

What does

BE BEST
really mean

anyway?

But I digress,

as the mess

of us

is made

by the few.

Even in

The Academy

where Barbie

revived

the biz,

The Ms (es)

who delivered

something

new and

bright,

light 

and true,

were ignored.

The women

who created

a phenomenon

and actually

united

diverging views

emerging

over decades,

dividing

us,

somehow

found

the sweet spot

and got

snubbed.

Is Barbie

really

us?

When is it

Kenough ?

The competent

women

are still

driven

but can’t

win.

I actually

read

a comment

today

in the NYT

complaining

about

Nikki Haley’s

teeth.

Her actual

dental

appearance

was too

grating

for this person.

I won’t 

lower

the conversation

to her

rival’s

looks,

even if

it’s one

for the books.

Back 

to The Academy

which now reflects

the tragedy

of us…

Like Dobbs,

this too,

will soon

not be 

news,

and we’ll

proceed

as we bleed,

(too female

for you?)

in desperate

need

of the

Gerwigs

and Robbies

and even

Haleys,

Cheyneys,

Hillarys,

and Pelosis,

and so many

of the smart,

bold,

talented,

and yes, 

flawed,

but not 

frauds.

Among 

the many men

(Ken!)

who deserve

rewarding,

the easy

ignoring

of the women

who actually

require

much more

to compete,

is a defeat

of understanding

or simply

a retreat

to the familiar.

Is this winning?