In the Mean Time

In

the Mean 

Time,

adults see

difference

as deficiency,

and insufficiency

of means

as moral

failing.

In the Mean 

Time,

an embryo

has more

right

to life

than its

mother. 

In the Mean

Time,

if that embryo

develops

to be 

female,

she will

lose her

embryonic

rights.

In the Mean

Time,

the pro

life

movement

is aligned

with unfettered

access

to military

grade

weapons

that tend

to show 

up

shooting

down

schools,

churches,

clubs,

synagogues,

theaters….

etc

etc

etc….

In the Mean 

Time

putting

prisoners

to death

is deserved,

despite

claims

to (and of)

the right

to life.

In the Mean

Time,

adults

insult

others’

physicality

as abnormality

or deformity

or just ugly,

and therefore

worthy

of discussion.

Disgust

has no

end

in the 

Mean Time,

even

when others

are inspired

to harm

“hearing”

alarm

in debasing

and chasing

some ego

reinforcement

or political

endorsement.

In 

the Mean Time,

fear dictates

so a near

dictator

can reappear

as POTUS.

Where

can

we go

in

The Mean Time?

Track and Field

I track

my body’s

expenditures–

tallying

steps,

REM,

and deep

sleep.

My  convenient

device

provides

advice

to keep 

me resilient.

Physically,

it’s working;

I’m doing

better 

than expected.

But my

field

of vision

is narrowing,

as the harrowing

crises 

overwhelm these

data points.

In order 

to prevent

sleeplessness

and foster

resilience,

I need 

to care

less.

But I can’t.

We need 

to engage

in ways

that are 

interactive

and creative;

that address

the mess

from fossil

fuels

and plastic.

Truly drastic

measures

require

forgoing

pleasures

to which 

we have

become

accustomed.

Losing

trust,

witnessing

those 

intended

to see a

democracy

upended

is exhausting

to track.

And depressing.

The alienation

in this nation

is in part

caused by

a conflation

of news 

and entertainment

—infotainment—

and cruelty

so that duality,

not plurality,

is insisted

upon.

We are lost,

and the cost

is literally

killing

the country

(and others)

and the planet. 

Helplessness,

more than 

sleeplessness,

is the urgent

and important

crisis to meet.

As we track

our daily

routines,

we are 

far

afield

from living

from what

we’ve been

given.

We have 

retreated

to repeated

tasks

when what

is actually

asked

of us

is to heal

each other

and our

environment.

The Fetal Position

If you,

like me,

feel like

curling up

into 

the fetal

position

from opposition

to IVF
after feeling

helpless

about Dobbs,

then let’s

explore
The Fetal Position.

Personhood

is understood

as a fetus,

or an anonymous

contributor

(or contributing

entity)

to a PAC,

or a corporation.

Actual 

identifiable

people

are denied

rights

and 

regarded

as wrong

if they belong

to the school

of thought

that suggests

life begins

after birth.

This 

theocracy-

style

governance

is a supreme

encumbrance

not just

upon 

women,

but upon

families,

communities,

and actually,

our democracy.

Hearts,

bank accounts,

systems,

are broken

for a token

win

that doesn’t

affect

the legislators’

lives;

only the lives

and livelihoods

of those 

deemed

killing

personhoods

for securing

safer living

of actual

human beings.

The tortured

logic

for the gynecologic

obsessions

and supposed

transgressions

are injections

of a particular

(and peculiar)

religious

interpretation.

The anti-science

reliance

on a bible

as the guide

for literal

fetal

legal

accountability

will never

provide

sustainability.

From my

current fetal

position

I can only

suggest 

that The Fetal

Position,

whose

mission

is prohibition,

abolition,

and ammunition

against

the proposition

of complexity

of life

and governance,

is a minority

of a party

whose priority

is superiority,

of course,

but also 

authority

over others—

God fearing,

because

inspiring

fear

is what

they revere.

Fearing

government

and science

as slippery

slopes

promotes

anti-expert

(so-called

elite)

pronouncements.

Their

Fetal Position

is conceived 

from religious

interpretation

now codified

as legislation.

We can’t 

let our fear

keep us

in the

fetal position.

Find ways

to contribute

to uproot

this acute

and chronic

assault

on the embroyonic

and the Fetal

Position.

In Tolerance

When I am

in

tolerance

mode,

I accept

what is

and 

what is 

not

to my

liking.

Except,

it’s now 

hard 

to remember

tolerating

what I 

don’t like.

The noise

from the

train

of thought

is more

tolerable

than

the noise

on the tracks

(that tracks)

outside

my mind.

That which

offends

me

I defend

against.

In tolerance

mode,

I recognize

compromise 

as a potential.

But the torrential

down

pouring

of cynicism

and tribalism

for the sake

of upping

the ante

of the anti-

agreeable

for the foreseeable

future,

is intolerable

to me.

I tune out

more

each day,

as avoidance

fosters

my endurance

without

the persistence

of the nonsense.

In tolerance

mode,

I can listen

and know

I can

respect.

I suspect

those opportunities

are in your

communities

more than

you know.

I find

myself

in tolerance

mode,

when being

among

real people

who want

to meet,

not compete

for likes.

But I’d like

people

to like this

and share

these conversation

starters—

as I think

we are partners

in

tolerance—

in 

consonance

with a need

greater than

 dominance.

So Much Winning

The big surprise

was not 

the primary

prize.

Although

a disappointment

for her

and now less

of a contest,

the best

is not

necessarily

who gets

voted in.

What does

BE BEST
really mean

anyway?

But I digress,

as the mess

of us

is made

by the few.

Even in

The Academy

where Barbie

revived

the biz,

The Ms (es)

who delivered

something

new and

bright,

light 

and true,

were ignored.

The women

who created

a phenomenon

and actually

united

diverging views

emerging

over decades,

dividing

us,

somehow

found

the sweet spot

and got

snubbed.

Is Barbie

really

us?

When is it

Kenough ?

The competent

women

are still

driven

but can’t

win.

I actually

read

a comment

today

in the NYT

complaining

about

Nikki Haley’s

teeth.

Her actual

dental

appearance

was too

grating

for this person.

I won’t 

lower

the conversation

to her

rival’s

looks,

even if

it’s one

for the books.

Back 

to The Academy

which now reflects

the tragedy

of us…

Like Dobbs,

this too,

will soon

not be 

news,

and we’ll

proceed

as we bleed,

(too female

for you?)

in desperate

need

of the

Gerwigs

and Robbies

and even

Haleys,

Cheyneys,

Hillarys,

and Pelosis,

and so many

of the smart,

bold,

talented,

and yes, 

flawed,

but not 

frauds.

Among 

the many men

(Ken!)

who deserve

rewarding,

the easy

ignoring

of the women

who actually

require

much more

to compete,

is a defeat

of understanding

or simply

a retreat

to the familiar.

Is this winning?

The Sopranos and The Base

Fuggedaboutit!

Back at 

The Bing

after 25 years

since The Sopranos

premiered,

those

good fellas

and those

big haired,

long nailed

gals 

revealed 

almost all,

and unsealed

the sociopath’s

psyche.

Americans

love 

gangster

shows

and anti

heroes.

And prestige

tv 

started

with

The Sopranos.

The culture

exposed

in each

episode,

showed us

the familiar

family

ties

but also

the lies

that most

of us

would never

encounter

otherwise.

Fitzgerald

and Puzo

knew

so well

that Americans

love

excess

and power.

The Gatsby

type

disguise

and the wise

guys

do whatever

they want.

They have 

it all

and all

they want

is more.

And 

respect.

Gatsby,

nearing 100,

the Don

(Corleone)

over 50,

and The Sopranos’

25th

anniversary

are certainly

testament

to great art.

But what sets

them apart

is their

familiarity-

despite 

distance-

as stories

of the American

experience.

They live

the American

Dream

in unseemly

fashion.

And what 

is the

reaction?

Adoration.

Now look

at the blob

whose mob

stormed 

The Capitol.

Running

to be made

POTUS 

again,

he ups

his ante

being anti

everything

except 

the base.

The Sopranos

touched

high notes

consistently

for years,

while

Trump veers

lower and lower

toward 

tyrant;

defiant

as the base

is compliant.

Nikki Hailey

won’t criticize

as she has

her eyes

on 

I don’t know

what

prize.

But as 

I watch

The top notch

Sopranos,

I’m uncomfortably

aware

of the American

love

affair

with gangsters

and their 

base.

College Admissions

I thought

I understood

the assignment.

Three 

Ivy presidents

(notably, women)

were interrogated

by Congresswoman

Elise Sefanik

about anti

semitic

rhetoric

on campus.

The rest 

of us

watched,

dumbfounded,

while the three

were hounded

as they sounded

pathetic.

Penn

stepped down

soon thereafter

and then 

the mission

to get Harvard’s

resignation

broadened

to include

plagarization.

Huh?

Now I’m 

confused

as

The Right

is amused.

Is President

Gay

as incompetent

as they say?

She (and the others)

certainly failed

to stand

against hate

in a clear

and forceful

manner.

But the issue

morphed

and quickly

dwarfed 

the inherent

problems

of free speech.

Now it’s clear

that the smear

was in play

before

any admissions.

All the way

from k

through 12,

book bans

and some 

topics

are prey 

to the optics

of so-called

conservative

victories.

And higher

ed

is losing

cred

when

boards

revamp

campuses.

New College,

“too liberal”,

has become

undone,

replacing curriculum

and extras

begun,

as faculty

and students

have already

run

to more 

hospitable

schools.

The tools

of The Right

insist on

a fight

against

inclusion.

Their claim

of exclusion

is construed

as intrusion

of those

people

and ideas

lacking

“merit”.

Offended

by difference

and fueled

by belligerence 

creating

inference

of incompetence

and interference

of values,

twisting

DEI

and Critical

Race Theory

into some

nefarious

notions

of promotions

of people

undeserving

(because only

certain people

are deserving).

The subtext

seems to be

that white

and/or male

are merit-worthy,

and what 

is now called

elite

is not

because 

of the rot

of a culture

changing.

“But her 

plagiarism”

reminds me

of another claim:

“But her

emails….”

as she fails

not on merit

but on whatever

they declare

it to be.

The suspicions

against women

and  any other 

minority

in positions

of upward

mobility

in a facility

deemed

liberal ,

especially

those at 

or near

the top,

will be fodder

for politicians

whether omissions

or admissions

of guilt

even apply.

Somehow

social justice

has been

perverted

by one side

to collide

with merit,

and subverted

to an inverted

definition

of bias 

against.

Inclusion

is now 

exclusion.

The ones

who used

to benefit

now see fit

to destroy

elite institutions

and upend

people’s lives.

The mascot

for team

defiance

whose reliance

on winning

at any cost,

while

aligning

with bitter

resentment,

is ascendent

to the most

elite

postion 

of all.

His Wharton

degree

could not be

based

on merit.

Admittedly,

and shamefully,

hypocrisy 

and conspiracy

are embraced

as winning

strategies

to counter

the culture

of decency

and meritocracy.

Under The Influence

In the influencer

era,

an influx

of flummoxing

speech

and behavior

is driving

the culture,

media,

and politics

such that

verbal tics

become

propoganda 

tricks.

The most 

influential

and least 

presidential

still has 

the potential

to create

torrential

storms.

He inflicts

pain

while feigning

affliction

from unfair 

prosecution,

and his claims

of innocence

bring cognitive

dissonance.

He relishes

the influence

he has,

while

denying

plausibility

of influencing

the rioting

and the rest

of the insurrection.

Under The Influence,

we’ve been 

driven

to the precipice,

where every 

action

and utterance

feel consequential,

if not 

existential. 

Driving

while intoxicated,

the indoctrinated

keep drinking 

in 

the bathtub

gin—

a homemade spirit

of amateur conditions

against prohibitions.

We need 

Dry January

to Sober

October

to remember

November

requires

each of us

to be

a defender

of democracy.

Your influence

is needed

until

his is defeated,

which may

continue

from confinement.

There’s no 

requirement

for influencing

beyond the appeal

to how people feel

or wish 

to be

regarded.

So while 

we’re bombarded

by the craven

Maven 

of Influence

(and verbal

flatulence),

don’t let his

petulance

and contaminants

drive you further

under his influence.

Drive with focus

as the

auto

reply.

Flossing

I have never 

been much

for New Year’s

resolutions,

though

I tend 

to set

goals

anyway.

Of course

I forget 

the goals

I set

within weeks.

But 

at the end

of each

year

I promise

to adhere

to flossing.

My oral hygiene

is otherwise

pristine

with electric

toothbrush

and water pic.

But flossing

consistently

continues

to elude me;

I hate it.

It’s gross.

And my teeth

are too close

on one side.

That aside,

I know

it’s important

and despite

this chore

I abhor,

I want to

explore

the spaces

between—

flossing

as metaphor.

In 2023

the unexpected

tested

my ability

to adapt.

Being 

in the space

between 

what had seemed

to be

solid structures,

then fearing

erosion,

with protruding

particles

that needed

removing,

I often chose

merely

disapproving

hoping

to let

stuff dissolve.

But from

the personal

to the political

I now resolve

again,

this time

publicly,

to floss

each day;

to clear

a space

where no

articles

or particles

of what was

otherwise

digested,

remain

taunting

my tongue.

Committing 

to thread

instead

of mere 

disgust,

even when

there’s plenty 

of disgust

to discuss,

I intend to

explore

the metaphor

of flossing:

tossing

my own gunk

away

to better survey

all the stories

we replay

and say

on assumption

post

consumption.

Here’s 

to a cleaner

and healthier

space

we create

by resolution

and constitution

(and prosecution)

and evolution

and conclusion.

Flossing as metaphor

in 2024—

clearing space

to embrace

the better,

and to rid us

of the disgrace

that has threatened

our health.

Happy 

and Healthy

New Year!

Heart Failure

Dis-ease

was becoming

chronic.

We became

fatigued.

Politics

became nauseating.

Ego edema

created swelling

that made

us 

unrecognizable,

as we 

itched

and twitched

for something

better.

Our organ

for filtering

waste

became wasted

on itself,

the damage

progressive

with conservative

treatment.

But conservative

now means

conserving

the dis-ease,

not the balance

or flow

to ensure

functionality.

And with

a sick

body

each organ

of the organization

becomes

compromised

without compromise.

This

is what 

being

seriously ill

feels like.

Our heart

is failing

us.

Waste

and bile

are no longer

filtered,

and our heart

is giving

out.

The heart

is our

center

with right

and left

sides

that need

each other

to fulfill

its task.

Our heart

is the core

of our

life.

Our heart

is our 

purpose.

History

is our brain.

It stores

the stories

that give 

meaning.

We have always

had a mean

history 

alongside

lofty aspirations

and accomplishments.

Our heart

and brain

contain

us 

but strain

us 

when either

is drained

of functionality,

no longer

self regulating.

History

(and therefore

life)

is a spiral.

But viral

contagions

can attack

various parts

of the body,

as we learned

in 2020.

The most

essential

part 

of us,

the heart,

is failing

us

from abuse

and under use, 

as it has

and hasn’t

before.

We can

restore

our functionality

without

the cult

of personality

and criminality

or sentimentality.

We see 

our own

banality

of evil

and those

who have

lost

their humanity.

Our heart

was attacked,

and the walk 

back

to recovery

is painfully

slow,

a feature

and a bug

of democracy.

But now,

the enemy

of the good

is not 

imperfection;

it’s insurrection

and rejection

of our heart. 

We must

reject

the heartless,

no matter

how taxing.

Don’t

just sit

there.

It’s bad

for

the heart.