fathers day

Daddy Issues

 

El Papa issues an encyclical on the environment and our shared responsibility. He acknowledges human contribution to global warming in recent decades, and advocates ways in which we can tend to that (and those) which we have neglected. With poetry and prose, and scientific backing, he sternly urges all people to pay attention to “unprecedented destruction of ecosystems, with serious consequences for us all.” His assessment continues with connecting the environmental crisis to human and social degradation, as the poorest suffer the most. Beyond vanishing coral reefs and other plant and animal species, we are creating unhealthy and unsustainable conditions for our own species. El Papa urges conscientious actions and transforming our lifestyles toward environmental stewardship and being responsible to our entire world of humans and other animal and plant species.

 

Jeb! issues a statement in response to the (leaked) encyclical, “I hope I’m not going to get castigated for saying this by my priest back home, but I don’t get economic policy from my bishops or my cardinals or my pope.” Bush, a devout Catholic, says that religion “ought to be about making us better as people, less about things that end up getting into the political realm.”

 

REALLY???? Isn’t the Pope encouraging all people to be better, through attention and care of the earth and each other? El Papa’s message is a moral message for everyone. And yes, it has profound economic implications that have been ignored for too long, and we are beginning to reap the consequences.

 

Jeb!’s response seems rather rich from the guy who, as governor, intervened in the Terri Schiavo case, deciding that Schiavo’s feeding tube should be reinstated, appeasing so-called pro-life supporters. Just 2 days ago, on the heels of issuing his response to The Pope’s encyclical, Jeb! proudly reminded an audience at the Faith and Freedom conference of his role in the Terri Schiavo case saying that he “stood on the side of Terri Schiavo.” (Except, of course, he stood on the side of her parents and others—not on the side of Terri Schiavo or her desperate husband.)

 

While Jeb! issues statements on issues that, at best, don’t inspire, he seems to have an issue with his name. He has replaced Bush with ! Although seeming to distinguish himself more from his brother than from his father, he is struggling to find a way to be the one to move us forward.

 

Of course, the two issues that blindside us each time they occur (and they occur with frequency) are murdering innocents and racism. This time they converge. The massacre is in a church—The Emanuel African Methodist Episcopal Church in Charleston, S.C. Dylan Roof, 21, sits among members of a Bible study group in the historic black church, and after about an hour, opens fire, killing 9 members, including the pastor, the Rev. Clementa Pichney. It is soon revealed that Roof espouses racist views of so-called white supremacy. He is arrested for this hate crime and charged in the killings.

 

We have been struggling with these issues of seemingly out of control violence, especially gun violence against innocents—sometimes singular, sometimes massacres, and we have been seeing racism especially as it pertains to law enforcement. These issues of extreme violence, especially with guns, and racism—perhaps more insidious than in previous generations—continue to cause profound disturbances and grief, yet little action beyond social media attention.
We may celebrate the work and wisdom of our fathers today, and acknowledge how much they have given us, but each generation must also forge ahead, and see what isn’t working and face it and change it. The Pope has shown us that we can use our knowledge and wisdom and character (as well as spiritual life) to better our world and restore ecosystems. We can affect our environment. We can change the climate. Literally and figuratively.

 

We won’t be able to prevent every disaster—natural or human, but we can do more. We can change gun laws, and how we deal with psychological and social ills. We can be conscientious. We can take down flags that are remnants of racist history, that have no place in the 21st century.

 

We can celebrate our dads by practicing what the great dads teach—that actions (and inactions) have consequences—intended and unintended. We have issues to address. This Father’s Day, embrace your father, and El Papa’s message to us to take conscientious actions to better our world.

Happy Father’s Day!

Father Time

Much of our concept of fatherhood is culturally inherited. Motherhood and fatherhood may begin biologically, but the lifespan is cultural. For parents who adopt children, they know that parenting means providing a safe home with love and guidance regardless of conception. The ways in which we parent are largely codified in our cultural DNA.

Fathers’ Day was created in Spokane Washington over a century ago by a woman who was one of six children raised by a widower. It was an attempt to create an equivalent celebration to Mothers’ Day. While the initial Mothers’ Day celebrations sought to promote peace and reconciliation after The Civil War, the impetus for a Fathers’ Day was actually a sermon  delivered in July 1908 honoring the memory of 362 men who had died earlier in the year in a coal mine explosion in West Virginia. The first Fathers’ Day was celebrated in Washington State on July 19, 1910. Certainly there was a commercial aspect that drove Mothers’ Day in a way that was not quite captured in Fathers’ Day (i.e. flowers). With The Depression, retailers began promoting neckties, pipes, socks, hats and sporting goods. During World War 2, advertisers began promoting Fathers’ Day as a way to support the war effort and honor American troops. It was not a federal holiday, but it was an American institution. It was in 1972 that Fathers’ Day officially became a federal holiday. Meanwhile, it has been an economic boon for nearly a century, and has reinforced cultural concepts of fatherhood.

In the 21st century, the cultural expectations of fatherhood are rapidly changing. Some of our artifacts of cultural notions of fatherhood are contained in television shows from the last sixty years. Television, especially sitcoms, were never about reality, of course. They were simplified versions of aspects of society. In some ways they are ridiculous, which is also what makes them enjoyable. In honor of Fathers’ Day, I have compiled a very brief list of favorite TV dads. This is by no means comprehensive. I selected shows that had the word “father” or “dad” in the title, with the exception of a few, as examples of shows where the family revolved around the father, or the parent child relationship was with a single father. There are many, many more examples of fathers on television, and I did include a few that have fathers as the main character, even if there are ensemble casts. This sampling is merely that–some examples that reflect cultural attitudes about fathers and their kids and the times in which they lived. In many ways, these shows are as much about how time and place have become cultural references as well as our notions of fatherhood. These shows depict other, larger cultural forces, even as they revolve around representations of fatherhood.

First and foremost,”father” has been the (economic) provider. Very generally, there are the two types of fathers on television, especially in the middle of the 20th century: the comfortable middle (or upper middle) class father who is the provider and gentle sage; or the bumbling dad who never seems to know what’s going on at home. Of course, these two themes were (and are still) played out as the notion that the mother is the primary caregiver, homemaker, etc, even when she also works outside the home (which we don’t really see on tv until the 1980s). There are several examples of fathers or father figures without mothers. In those cases, there is often a substitute homemaker-usually live-in help. No messy spousal arguments. Just warm, fatherly advice, and someone else to take care of the logistics of the home.

So, here’s a brief list of the father archetypes from American television, from shows that revolve around the father:

Father Knows Best 1954-1960

Archetype of the fifties male (and kept woman). White. Midwestern? Suburban.Compliant kids. Calm, sagacious father. (Robert Young)

Bachelor Father 1957-1962

Handsome, wealthy Beverly Hills attorney with chinese “houseboy”. Bentley Gregg (John Forsythe) is the uncle who adopts his teenage niece. He provides economic and emotional security (in white Beverly Hills) for her while both of them support each other emotionally as they navigate the (bland) dating scene.

Make Room for Daddy 1953- 1964

Dad the professional entertainer. White upper middle class. Urban. Young, beautiful wife. Smart mouthed son and adorable daughter.The often frustrated dad (Danny Thomas) is trying to navigate his way at home .

My Three Sons 1960-1972

Widowed aeronautical engineer Steven Douglas (Fred Mac Murray) raising 3 sons with old crotchety father-in-law or uncle (depending on season). Steve is the calmest most zen-like dad ever. The sons are, likewise, rather easygoing. White. Suburban. bland. Middle class.

Family Affair 1966-1971

Another well-to-do uncle adopting kids. NY high rise living in the sixties (that was not much like the real sixties). Uncle Bill (Brian Keith) is a civil engineer who, with the help of his butler, Mr. French, is also the calm, sagacious, father figure for the teenage Cissy, and the young twins, Buffy and Jody. White. Urban. Upper-middle class.

The Courtship of Eddie’s Father 1969-1972

Beginning of the sensitive guy (played by Bill Bixby). Another widower of the professional class, this time magazine publishing, who is raising his young son and navigating the dating scene. His son Eddie is more invested in his father’s dating life than child characters in previous shows. Meanwhile, Mrs. Livingston, the Japanese housekeeper, also provides eastern wisdom.

Sanford and Son 1972-1977

Poor African American widower living with single adult son trying to make it . This is a new type of program for the time, showing an African American experience (as did other shows of the seventies), and life in the Watts area of South Central Los Angeles.  The son, Lamont, desiring independence, must take care of his troublemaking father. A decidedly different kind of tv father-figure.

The Cosby Show 1984-1992

Upscale, professional, urban, African American.80s. Changing roles for women across demographic categories and for African Americans of  both genders. Updating wise professional father figure who could also be silly and, at times, clueless of kids’ shenanigans. A bit more sophisticated view of family life, gender and race.

Everybody Loves Raymond 1996-2005:

The classic buffoon dad(s). Ray and his father are clueless. Although the women on the show are the ones seemingly holding the family together, the old cultural ideals of the middle class father are put on display for comedy and as a means to reminding us that fatherhood must continue to evolve.

Modern Family 2009-

Four fathers:  2 Gay dads. 1 Emotive heterosexual dad.  1 Old school remarried, virile (and gruff) patriarch ( Ed O’ Neill, who was also the bumbling and gross Al Bundy on Married with Children 1987-1997). Professional, wealthy dads in the suburbs of LA. White nuclear family extends, marrying Latina (with Latino child) and gay couple adopting Asian child.  A 21st century American family.

Some other favorite tv sitcom dads include: Ward Cleaver (Leave it to Beaver), Archie Bunker (All in the Family), Mike Brady (The Brady Bunch), Dan Conner (Roseanne), Homer Simpson(The Simpsons), Peter Griffin(Family Guy).

Of course there are so many shows that we could examine for insight into cultural attitudes about fatherhood, and I have neglected the Westerns and other genres to the exclusion of sitcoms. However, there are two dramas whose protagonists are unusually interesting as fathers:

The Sopranos 1999-2007

Tony Soprano is  the FAMILY man. Everything is for the family. Which family, is debatable. But, he does love his children desperately, and his children are incredibly important to his character.

Mad Men 2007-

As Mad Men takes place from 1960-1970?, Don Draper is the embodiment of the mid 20th century white suburban upper middle class, then remarried urban, professional father who leaves the care taking of the children to the wife. On the rare occasions when he spends time with his kids, he can be kind and loving, and fun. But his demons are too powerful. He is the anti-hero Dad. Sure, Tony was a mobster, and Don is just an ad man, but Don is too far removed from his kids and can’t share his life with them.

As our cultural notions of fatherhood continue to evolve, it will be interesting to watch. Television has reflected our cultural ideals of fatherhood in perhaps exaggerated and often lighthearted ways. As gender roles continue to evolve, the nature and culture of parenting is evolving. Until we have Parents’ Day, we can spend the third Sunday in June giving time to the fathers in our lives. Their roles will always be about their relationships with their children. It’s father time. Happy Fathers’ Day.