teens

Stereo Types

The not-guilty verdict in the Zimmerman case may have punctuated this trial, but it opened up conversations about the legal system, Stand Your Ground Laws, and prejudice. President Obama’s remarks last week on why the not-guilty verdict had caused such pain for so many, were  an authentic and powerful acknowledgement of the everyday humiliations endured by black males– youths and adults.  He spoke about the experiences of black men (and teens) being followed while shopping in a department store; hearing the click of car doors locking as they stopped nearby; and watching as women clutch their purses tighter if they are close by or sharing an elevator. Many black parents have lamented that they have had to teach their children that being black in America includes the many indignities of being followed or singled out–just in case.  Mr. Obama was most powerful when he said, “When Trayvon Martin was first shot, I said that this could have been my son,” he continued,”Another way of saying that is Trayvon Martin could have been me, thirty-five years ago.”  Some people quickly distorted his words and cried race-baiting, as though mentioning (or even acknowledging) race (which was denied during the trial) is so taboo and so distorting, that all it does is provoke. (And who might it provoke????)

In so many ways our culture has evolved and become more inclusive, but scars and serious problems remain. The word “prejudice” doesn’t get thrown around as much as it did when I was young. After the seventies, as identity politics became more solidified, the word “prejudice” was an insufficient term for discrimination based upon race. We don’t hear the word “chauvinism” very much any more either. In the seventies, a chauvinist was usually a sexist male. The original meaning of chauvinism, however, is exaggerated patriotism. It later became used as a synonym for sexism. Today we see many chauvinists who embody the bellicosity of the original and later usages of chauvinism. They also tend to call others racists or race-baiters, as though any mention of race now is meant to reopen old wounds, while ignoring the mention of race (or any other means of discrimination) is somehow more evolved. We tend to treat racism, sexism, homophobia, and chauvinism as overt attitudes of bigotry. Even without chauvinism, we discriminate. “Discrimination” has become a term used to define unjust treatment of different categories of people. Discriminating also (and originally) means distinguishing characteristics among categories.  It is clear from so many events and stories, none less than the shooting of Trayvon Martin, that prejudice, in the most general sense, is ever-present. Because humans discriminate (not necessarily negatively), humans pre-judge (not necessarily negatively). Still, we constantly discriminate and pre-judge positively and negatively based on appearances.

From the moment that Trayvon Martin was shot, I was surprised that people equated the Hoodie with dangerous black males. To me, the Hoodie is part of the youth dress code. I suppose that regardless of race, any kid in a Hoodie (with the hood up) can arouse suspicions. Except if it’s raining. Then the hood has a utilitarian purpose, not a cultural reference. Suggesting that the way Trayvon Martin was dressed aroused suspicion is like blaming the girl or woman for wearing short shorts or a low cut top as though she “had it coming”.  The truth is, as parents and teachers, we must explain the categories that get distorted. For many, this is a sad commentary.  I agree that it is sad that as a culture we judge, and too often mis-judge, based on appearances. We must also acknowledge that in addition to prejudices, there have always been aggressors who use excuses for their behavior.  As parents and teachers, we must teach our children about the messages that clothes send, intended or unintended, that speech and physical presence shape perceptions in all ways. We must remind ourselves of our own categories and assumptions.  There will always be people who will have distorted perceptions, and we may be able to enlighten some, but many will just not get it. Because prejudice must always be examined, we must make our children aware that prejudice exists and that some may act on those prejudices.

I have read several articles in the past week that have noted that women have refused to say hello or respond when approached by a black man, as evidence of a still enforced stereotype of the “scary black man”. I have been thinking about the fact that women, often judged more on appearance than men are, often perceive threat by men regardless of race.   While the history of racism is undeniable, the lack of understanding of women’s experiences (regardless of race) from the dawn of time,  also needs to be reinforced. While not all men have threatened women, women have always been threatened by men. When women are called rude or prejudiced because they choose to be responsible for not sending any potentially confusing messages, men(regardless of race) need to understand women’s historical experience as well.

With a culture that glorifies violence, and gun laws that have not only not diminished violence, but include numerous tragedies beyond Trayvon Martin’s death, we must continue the conversations about our history and culture; about positive and negative discrimination, and about how we can reduce violence and bigotry. Neither hoodies nor short shorts are the problem. How we interpret is the problem. When we stereotype, we have an oversimplified (and distorted) image of a person. Hoodies and short shorts are stereo types.

If Memory Serves….

Originally called Decoration Day, Memorial Day, celebrated today, the last Monday in May, is observed in remembrance of those who died in service to our country. More accurately, Memorial Day is a national holiday recognizing military personnel who died during war. For many, the memorial aspect is secondary to the barbeques  and pool openings and retail bargains and the unofficial commencement of summer. For others, Memorial Day is about patriotism. For them it is literally about their loved ones being wrapped in the flag.

Decoration Day was initially a day set aside to place flowers or other decorations on the graves of Civil War soldiers. It was not a national holiday at the outset, and Northern states observed Decoration Day on a different day from Southern states. After WW1, the nation as a whole began to commemorate soldiers who died in war, and Memorial Day has become a tragic tradition that unites us in loss, as so many have died in so many wars,with the expectation that there will always be more.

Unlike the Civil War, or even the World Wars , Korea and Vietnam, today the country acknowledges those lost in wars, but many citizens have not experienced the loss personally. Military families are no longer all families. But service should be in all families. Whether or not it is military service, perhaps we can use this Memorial Day to consider service in its myriad possibilities for bettering our communities and our country.

Many people give their lives to service. They may not lose their lives to service, but find that in serving others, they are creating better communities. We need to consider these acts of national pride as well. In addition to military personnel, police and firefighters have chosen careers that put themselves in harm’s way in service to our communities. We should remember them. We should acknowledge them. We should be more connected to those members in our communities who service us. Teachers service us. No, they do not risk life or limb except in unusual circumstances, but the choice to teach kids is in service to our communities and to our nation. We have begun to encourage young people to serve–not just militarily, but in numerous ways in their communities. This Memorial Day, as some decorate graves of fallen soldiers, and others fire up the grill, let us consider the prospect that the term servicemen or servicewomen need not be limited to the military. If memory serves, then let us all be servicemen and servicewomen. Let us give more of our lives without losing them to violence in the name of freedom.

Driver’s Ed

What don’t you want to be when you grow up? I knew from the time I was 16 that I didn’t want to be a Driver’s Ed instructor. In those days, they smoked an awful lot of cigarettes while in the passenger (co-pilot) seat. No wonder! What a horrible job! It’s as death-defying and thankless as any, and most of the time is spent with 16 year olds. The service that they provide though, is an hour a week relief to parents. Most teens will not be terribly insolent to an official driving instructor.

The Driver’s Ed part of parenting was one of the most difficult times. Well…..not the Driver’s Ed per se…..that was the relief. It was the rest of the time in the car with teenage kids the year prior to the license, and post license (waiting for their safe return, preferably without scratches or dents to them or to the car). I was particularly tense during those times (years).

Recently, I was thinking about that question that James Lipton asks at the end of “Inside the Actors’ Studio” from the Bernard Pivot questionnaire: What profession would you not like to do? And I still reacted with: Driver’s Ed Instructor. Then I thought about how perfect that is.

Some new drivers seem oblivious. They have enjoyed being passengers, and want the freedom of being drivers, but never considered all that must be taken into account. Others are afraid of the power. They are so fearful of causing an accident or of making a mistake, that they not only make more mistakes, but create a fearful environment for those next to them as well . Still others are exhilarated by the power and the energy and the sense of freedom that comes with driving. They may need more reminders about caution, and to slow down. It’s always an adjustment, though. Sometimes, even for those who are quickly comfortable behind the wheel, and have an innate calm and good depth perception and quick instincts, there is still a bit of adjustment. They not only need to fit comfortably and see accurately, but like learning to dance with a partner, coordinate the footwork and accelerate and brake with proper timing and emphasis. Everyone must make the proper adjustments and practice, practice, practice.

As educators and parents, we are all Driving Instructors! We provide the rules and the basic techniques. We brief our kids on speed limits and safety features. We remind them to check rear view mirrors and blind spots, and tell them to always keep their eyes on the road!

I guess we are also accountants and consultants and waste managers and……

Right of Spring

As an arts and education activist– a culturalist– I am always delving into how traditions and cultural symbols and expressions reflect our ideas and ideals, as well as inspire. This week many celebrate Passover and Easter, and recount the ancient stories of slavery to liberation, sacrifice and resurrection. Families and friends feast on foods and participate in rituals that evoke these tales, and seek relevance to our own struggles. We have  the opportunity to celebrate the newness and beauty of the nature and culture of Spring.

 

Aside from religious rituals of Spring, I was thinking about other cultural expressions, and of course Stravinsky’s “Rite of Spring” sprung to mind. For those not familiar with the music, it hardly evokes images of Spring. The music is harsh and, although interesting, is almost the opposite of the way we like to think of Spring as crocuses, chirping birds and fluttering butterflies. Similarly, the ballet, originally choreographed by Nijinsky, was initially poorly received as the dances and dancers were contrary to audience notions of beauty and grace or the loveliness of Spring. The music and ballet (and also Matisse’s “Dance” that was painted around the same time as Stravinsky’s “Rite of Spring”composition) recalled elements of paganism in an avant-garde approach. Their modernist works upended cultural notions and referenced paganism as a means to pushing cultural boundaries. If Spring was about transformation and (re)birth, the birth of modernism transformed cultural sensibilities (in frightening geo political ways as well). This modernism is over a century old.

 

We often think of Modern as new, but what is the new Rite of Spring? We still have much to transform.  A couple of years ago, the world watched as uprisings across the Arab world gave rise to what was coined the Arab Spring. There was hope and possibility in the air that dictatorships and harsh rule and economic inequalities would be transformed , and that Democracy would ensue.

 

As of this writing, the Supreme Court is examining the legal implications of gay marriage. At this moment in our history, it seems as though public opinion is far ahead of the Court on gay marriage. In previous eras, the Court created the legal paths for civil rights, and cultural attitudes had to adjust to the legal reality. Now, we have a different situation: The Supreme Court is wrestling with the right to marry after the cultural shift toward marriage equality for gay couples. This is the Right of this Spring. Now we need new cultural arts compositions to reflect our new ideals and inspire the next generations.