Well Healed

COVID arrived 

Officially

On Friday

Afternoon

After

I chaperoned

My better

Half

To the 

Eye

Clinic

For surgery.

Masked

And only

Briefly

Present,

Encountering

Only

A couple

Assistants,

My role

As caregiver

Immediately

Disrupted

By 

Two

Parallel

Lines.

The frog

In my

Throat

Croaked,

And chills

And aches

And exhaustion

Ensued.

Now

I had

To be

Patient

And avoid

The patient

At all

Costs.

We separated

And sterilized

Our small

Space

Hoping to

Not make

Anything

Worse.

I was

Dreading

Feeling

Worse

As I

Have gotten

Accustomed

To feeling

Dread

Daily

For 

Years.

Chronic 

Conditions

Seem like

Zombies

Coming and

Going;

Returning,

Not leaving.

Healing

Often

Feels

Unusual.

Intractable 

Conditions

Suck

Energy.

Daily 

News

Breaks me

Daily.

It feels

As though

It may

Get worse

Knowing

That surely

It can

Get better

If only

People

Aided

Healing.

Meanwhile

I’m healing

From Covid

This week

Faster than 

I ever 

Remember

Healing

Before.

I was

Boosted.

It worked.

The genius

Human

Body

Works

Despite

Years

Of being

Convinced

Otherwise.

There is 

Still

Reality–

Not merely

Experience

Opinion

Or stories.

We may 

Feel

As though

We are

On the 

Titanic,

But we

Can

Still

Heal

With

Care .

Low Grade

It wasn’t just that Michelle Obama recently expressed how we all feel these days (… weeks, months, years), but that she articulated the truth with such precision: “some sort of low-grade depression”.  I think that’s how we knew it was/is the truth. There was a universal nod. YEP. 

We are all trying to cope with extreme and constant disruption, even when we are basically ok. We are fearful and angry. We are frustrated and fatigued. We are anxious and sad. Even when we are otherwise ok. We don’t feel ok. Ok. America is not ok, even if individuals are hanging in there. 

We are terrified of the fever out there. Everything feels feverish. The intensity of the fever overwhelms, and the experience for most of us is exhaustion. Low-grade depression. Meanwhile, the POTUS seems to do everything possible to enable the fever’s spread. Whether or not he experiences delusions, he inspires them. 

The multiple contagions afflicting us feel overpowering. The persistence is enervating. How will we be able to live with this going forward? 

When we can’t just breathe, because a police officer is shooting or choking someone, or COVID-19 has consumed one’s lung capacity, we can air the truth. Thank you, Michelle Obama.

I couldn’t help but notice that her choice of words, “low-grade depression”, which seemed to resonate so exactly with our experience, was so perfect for this moment. No one seems to care more about grades than Trump. I’m not aware of any adult who cares about grades (other than being concerned about their kids’ grades). 

When Trump was saying anything to get media attention during the Obama administration, he glommed onto the “Birther” conspiracy theory in attempt to get attention, test the political winds, fan the fires of racism, build his brand, and whatever else explains his disgusting lies. But he also made a point of bringing up (or making up) President Obama’s grades. Even then I thought it was a weird and pathetic attempt to make some sort of point. 

Trump ran for POTUS talking about having “the best words”, and his great grades, and other school related nonsense. Remember when Michael Cohen revealed that Trump directed him to ensure that the College Board and colleges never release Trump’s grades or SATs? What is it with Trump and grades? 

Of course, he projects and lies and is shameless in doing so. 

And we are struggling on every front as a result of Trump’s incompetence, corruption, and shamefulness. He gets the lowest grade of any POTUS. 

Resignation

Why has no one called for Trump’s resignation? His commuting Roger Stone’s prison sentence, despite ample evidence of Stone’s guilt, provided the familiar dyspepsia of horror without surprise.  Trump’s gall is endless. As is Stone’s. (I’m sure there’s a gallstone joke somewhere….)

But even Mitt Romney, who dared to vote to convict Trump, and called Stone’s commutation “unprecedented, historic corruption”, didn’t call for Trump’s resignation. Why bother? Americans can vote him out in November.

We heard that argument before the Impeachment proceedings. It’s too risky. We can just vote him out. Meanwhile, what could possibly be worse than what lead to the Impeachment?

Amidst the heinous policies against immigrants, that includes family separations still, and caging children, Trump has withdrawn from our allies and has continued to cozy up to autocrats. He is unconcerned with the plight of Americans, or those who seek to live as Americans, unless he benefits personally. 

Meanwhile, the only one who has not begun to confront the hideous, systemic racism embedded in our American being, is Trump. As the country is pained and seeks healing and transformation, he wants to restore the statues that glorified the Confederacy—that seceded from the U.S! As statues came down, literally all that’s left is the base.

And yet, while we as a country have been resigned to racism in insidious forms, we are being lead once again by a movement toward dignity—Black Lives Matter. The overt brutality caught on video has been effective in showing what most White people don’t see or experience. There is profound concern that the resignation that has endured for so long in this country will continue without dramatic change. 

And the concern about November….besides a rigged system of gerrymandering that has persisted and expanded for decades disenfranchising voters, especially Black and Latinx voters, we are losing a battle against COVID-19, that has us sequestered to stay healthy.

Trump’s abdication of responsibility to keep Americans safe should have demanded calls for his resignation, but we have been too resigned to his crazy. His recklessness and laziness, not to mention an ability to govern or be a serious human, has actual repercussions. His demand to re-open schools without adequate policy proposals or funding so that they are safe is simply cruel. 

It’s hard to list the top most egregious displays of flagrant abuse, but I still can not wrap my head around the Russian bounty on American troops in Afghanistan. Trump claims to not have been briefed. Still, there has been no effort to do anything about the fact that Russia has put a bounty on American troops in Afghanistan. No calls for resignation. 

Vote him out? We started with Russian interference in our elections. Here we go again. Resignation? Voter suppression. Resignation? A PANDEMIC that makes going to the polls a personal and public potentially life-threatening situation. And he seeks to limit mail-in ballots. Vote him out?

We are the ones who have been resigned. We have been resigned to injustice for too long. We have been believing that institutions and norms are too entrenched and difficult to change, and yet Trump has easily trampled and dismantled. 

We have revered traditions, institutions, and norms, even ones that have outlived their use, and have become afraid of big changes. Yet here we sit at home, if we are able to and are considerate, forced to change our behavior. We can’t be resigned to not take responsibility now. (I know–doubly negative.) We can’t be resigned and await guidance, hope, support from this so-called POTUS. Our representatives should have called for his resignation, but we have all been too resigned. 

Absent calls for Trump’s resignation, we must confront our own. 

The Future

The future was open, busy, individual, 24/7. The future was scheduled, patterned, abundant, better. The future was crowded, but moving. The future was fresh and free, hectic and hopeful. 

The future was vacations, concerts, sports, movies, meetings, appointments, graduations, weddings, funerals. 

The future was predictable, mathematical, scientific, masterful. It was logical, creative, rich, and user-friendly. The future was applicable, identifiable, improvable, and personal.

The future was about each one, but really no one. It included fear and anger, histories of oppression and resentment, inequalities, and bigotries. But in the future, each person could be rich. Or on a path. Or connected. 

The future was bifurcated. The future was media driven. The future was about social influencers and fake news. The future was artificial intelligence and egos. The future was angry, manipulative, power-hungry, and lazy.

The future paid the least to people who teach kids and nurse the ailing; those whotake care of our youngest, oldest, and neediest; police and firefighters, EMTs—those who respond first; those who work diligently not for profit; and the artists who enrich our culture and inner lives. The future ignored those who pick our food; process our food; serve our food; deliver our food; allow us to buy our food and whatever stuff we want whenever we want. 

The future decided that guns are essential rights and that the market is the most essential. The future was a struggle for affordable healthcare that was too big to handle. The future forgot the basics, because everyone had a megaphone and a platform to distort.

The future was distorted, but was constant opportunity. The future was streaming what we wanted whenever we wanted, and we could ignore the junk. But there was an abundance of junk in the future. 

The future was an increasing environmental disaster resulting from climate change. The future was not a moment, a specific crisis, so we ignored what was not seemingly imminent. The future was more building, and much more stuff. 

The future was for each person to breathe and be anywhere. We didn’t think about separation in the future. Or distance. The future was possessive. The future was. 

Thank You Notes

Thank you, President Trump, for your assuredness early on in the COVID19 pandemic, as it began in the USA. What a relief it was to know that you could declare that this was just like the flu. No big deal. 

Thank you, President Trump, for reminding us that, “One day, it’s like a miracle. It’s going to disappear.” We should all live so long.

Thank you, President Trump, for letting us know that, “Anyone who wants a test can get one.” Well, nobody really WANTS to get that COVID19 test, right?

Thank you, President Trump, for announcing that, “A vaccine will be available soon.” 18 months is not that long. I mean an 18 month old is still a baby.  

Thank you, President Trump, for asserting that the US was “the most prepared country in the world.” I’m sure we were; just not since 2016.

Thank you, President Trump, for suggesting that this novel Coronavirus was a Democrat hoax, distraction, attempt to undermine your presidency. Your instincts are truly consistent. We can count on you to remind us of other awfulness, at any moment for any reason.

Thank you, President Trump, for closely watching the stock market plummet while COVID19 cases and deaths continue to rise exponentially. Now we have a two-front war.

Thank you, President Trump, for calling yourself a “Wartime President”. I was thinking of some other names. 

Thank you, President Trump, for your daily briefings. They are anything but brief, and barely informative, since the next one introduces a different protocol than previously suggested. Your omnipresence is hard to miss. I feel like I have a front row seat at one of your rallies. 

Thank you, President Trump, for mentioning Governor Cuomo in New York, and Governor Newsom in California and that woman in Michigan. So many governors.

Thank you, President Trump, for acknowledging your status as #1 on Facebook. WOW! I can’t begin to imagine how many hits that means.

Thank you, President Trump, for exemplifying family values and showing confidence in your do-it-all-son-in-law, Jared Kushner. You understand better than anyone, that youth, unencumbered by mastery, experience, or any success, gives a pandemic a new look. His understanding of the separation of Federal and State stuff is really amazing. When he said, “…Our stockpile” is not for state use, he must have meant that the federal stockpile is intended to supplement the states’ needs. See, he gets it. We have so much yet to learn!

Thank you, President Trump, for insisting on “regular” voting—none of this mail in ballot stuff. Changing anything now would be so difficult. I know you want to see a Democratic Convention this summer.  I’m sure you would love to see people go to their regular polling places in November. Your commitment to keeping America great (again) is always on full display. 

COVID19:Laura Petrie, Dish

Tell us what you would do

From home

As you whimper,

“Oh RAHAHAHAHAHB”.

 

 

If you are quarantined

Laura Petrie,

Dish on your life:

What’s changed?

 

 

No more coiffing

In case of coughing

Or Bridge 

With Mill and Jerr

 

 

Send Richie away

While you just stay

Flitting in place

In  capris.

 

Did you mind your daily

Life before

These weighty times

Demand?

 

What did you want to do

With you

Up to this March of

2020?

 

New Rochelle is feeling old

And sick and scared;

It’s not what we

Remember.

 

We need some silly

And stability,

Imagination,

And Comity.

 

Laura Petrie, Dish

On what it’s like to just be

Loved for being

Love.