9/11

The Big Bang/Genesis

Before

war,

or

even

peace,

there was

release

of energy

and matter-

The Great

Begatter,

the Big

Bang.

They weaponized

travel;

terrorized

to unravel

not just

emblems

and totems,

but systems

to sow

problems,

creating 

chaos

for all 

of us

in the US

and the rest

of the West.

This test

of resolve

would not

solve

anything,

other than

destroying

and toying

with security

and authority.

September 11th

this year,

a date 

we hold 

dear,

conjures

fear

and awe.

Tomorrow 

is both

a celebration

of Creation

for Jewish 

people

of each

denomination,

and a commemoration

of the unfathomable

nightmare

that united 

us

before tearing

us

apart.

25 years

on,

and tears

mostly gone,

but fears

have

merely

shifted to

a new

enemy,

us.

Wars

have existed

forever,

and forever

wars

predated

Afganistan

and Iraq

and

the 9/11

attack,

as our 

culture

war

started

decades before

this century.

The memory

of that gorgeous-

turned treacherous

September day,

magnificent

blue skies

turned

to hideous

grey

from the ash

of the buildings

and planes

and thousands

of people

in the beginning

of the workday,

brought on

more than

a crisis.

It was

the genesis

of a new

US.

From

America

the Beautiful

to the Big

Beautiful

Bill,

we’re still

in mourning

in this 26th

year,

living

in fear

since

the Big Bang.

The pang

of grief

finds no

relief

when the

thief-in -chief

has the belief

in himself

alone

(with other

authoritarians).

25 years 

later, 

and the perpetrator

of chaos,

the one

who may cost

us

the most,

is the host

of a reality

show

that happens

to be

the American

presidency.

Obviously,

we are greater

than he,

but what

do you see 

in this

reflection?

One World Trade Center, NYC

22 Years

The fictions

being told

will be sold

among

non-fictions.

There will be

volumes 

recounting

the fabricated

accounts

of corruption

at all levels

of government,

while those

deeply committed

to the rules

and rule

of law

have continued

to work

anonymously

as always

upholding

standards

that the rest

of us now

realize

have been

a privilege

to obtain 

and maintain.

22 years

after

the twin towers

were destroyed,

the threat

is now 

within.

They hate

our freedom.

They hate

our democracy.

They are not

a regular

military.

And they

brought

us

to our

knees.

In between

then 

and 

now,

so many

thoughts

and

prayers.

We are stuck,

deep in a state

of despair

and destruction;

of never

seeming

to accomplish

the mission

of creating

a more 

perfect union

without

retrograde

motion.

Our environment

is in crisis.

A generation

passed.

We can not

pass

on the next

generation.

Comparative Imperative: Remembering Versus Never Forgetting

For the last 14 years, so many people mark this date with their stories of where they were. Of course I remember where I was, but that is not what I think about or what matters. So much has happened in these 14 years that has changed us and changed me. The groundlessness that we all seemed to feel that day and for weeks following, was daunting. The trauma, even for those who just watched, was disconcerting, and fear and anxiety quickly filled those spaces where safety and security once grounded us. The shared trauma was briefly unifying, but we were blown apart that day.

In 14 years, there have been several crises and horrors and unstable conditions that have made the new normal feel anything but normal. We have been crippled by terrorism, by extreme storms, incompetent responses, economic disaster, and those fixated on hate and violence, as well as righteousness at the expense of others. We have neglected our first responders, our veterans, our indigent, our children, their schools, those who look different, act different, or sound different. We became fixated on images—even images of ourselves, more than the possibility of ourselves.

The #NeverForget is everywhere. I noticed that I have a bit of a resistance to this imperative. It’s a negative imperative. It’s not that it’s incorrect, or that the postings of the photos of the fireball that was the impact at the World Trade center are not appropriate. It’s the fixation on the horror that feeds our negative emotions and responses that I want to shift.

I want to remember. I want everyone to remember. The conjuring of the past is not really different. It’s the focus that needs to shift. I don’t want to whitewash the horror that was 9/11. I just don’t want to cling to a moment that was impossible to comprehend or digest, and suggest that that’s all we should consider. When those planes crashed in NY, DC and in Pennsylvania, we were horrified and also saddened. We lost so many, and we could feel for those whom we never met. We had a connection, albeit in terror.

When I see images of a recent rainbow over Manhattan, I feel the anguish of this day, and recall the horror, but my heart doesn’t constrict with fear, anxiety, or hate. I actually feel love. Love for NY; love for the promise and potential of this country despite so much that seems contrary at present, and for much that I get to enjoy each day here. When I see the images of the 9/11 Tribute lights at Ground Zero that have been illuminating the night sky on this tragic anniversary since 2002, I recall the horror, but am moved by the beauty in it’s place.

The #NeverForget seems to me to have us return to terror and the natural feelings of fear, anxiety and revenge that well up. I certainly can’t forget that horrifying day and the weeks that ensued, and even the months and years of threats and security precautions that elevated my own sense of foreboding. But that negative imperative bothers me. I prefer to remember—to consider the events that occurred, and the (positive) possibilities that can occur. I can’t live clinging to the negative. I must include the negative, as that is so much of life and certainly of the memory of this day. But clinging to the negative doesn’t move us forward.

The memory of this day may be painful, but the imperative can’t be negative. When we cling to our fears and operate from a place of fear, rather than include fear, we become more limited—the opposite of free. We remember not just where we were, or how we were, but we remember other people and lives and possibilities. We honor their memory with life and light. Our imperative is life affirming .