United States

238

They say it’s your birthday. Well it’s my birthday too, yeah…..Yes we’re going to a party party…. (The Beatles)

 

Two Hundred Thirty Eight years after declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain,we have plenty of wrinkles and show signs of aging, and our weight has been redistributed over the years (and continues). We’ve also developed a rather cranky disposition, particularly over the last decade. Maybe it’s the constipation.

But, it’s our birthday and we’re gonna have a good time. We’ll get as much red white and blue stuff as possible, because nothing says freedom from oppression like buying stuff, unless it’s from Hobby Lobby and other businesses, where owners’ religious views on contraception allow them to not have to provide insurance coverage for contraception for their female employees.

Remember when we were younger, and our minds (and hearts) were smaller, and we didn’t demand that businesses serve everyone equally? It was wrong and needed to be corrected. We had another milestone this week– It has been 50 years since the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was passed. Much has changed in our 238 years, and mostly for the better. But forgetfulness often accompanies aging and stress, and lately we seem to have forgotten how to be the United States of America.

The ironically named Citizens United Supreme Court ruling in 2010 and this week’s Hobby Lobby case, have empowered those who seek to define personhood beyond living persons. Moreover, actual individual human people are considered less significant than those claiming personhood.

Like the adolescent who seeks to express independence from adult authority through insolent, obnoxious or sometimes violent or potentially harmful behavior, the reactionaries focus on themselves and claim oppression. This includes the open carry gun toters, who rant about their constitutional rights to protect (or just own guns) while clearly presenting weapons, which are indeed threatening. This is not the essence of independence, nor of the United States of America.

There was a bright spot this week, however, that spoke to the essence of independence and the United States of America. Tim Howard, the aptly named “Secretary of Defense” goalkeeper for team USA at the World Cup, was phenomenal as he blocked 16 shots from our Belgian opponents. Americans love a hero and love individuals. We rooted for our team, but they couldn’t score a goal. Still, we found a hero in the independent performance of Tim Howard. Let’s not forget, while Howard’s skill and determination were singularly executed, it was all for team USA.

When independence is for the greater good—for team USA(and beyond)– then independence is worth celebrating.  They say it’s your birthday. Well, it’s my birthday too, yeah…. we’re going to a party party…..

Shaken. Not Stirred.

Breaking News: Gunman kills student in school shooting. This is any day, USA. Yesterday it was the Las Vegas “anti-government” shooters. Over the weekend, three people were killed and 20 were wounded in shootings in Chicago. That’s one weekend in one city. You’ve seen the newsflashes. The horrors seem to be more frequent. There is more hysteria when the shootings are suburban or in schools (or malls or movie theaters). What was once (or twice or thrice) regarded as an anomaly, has become a daily news story. Yes. DAILY.

We are being terrorized. This time it is from within. We have always been a violent society, struggling to overcome violent impulses and histories. We have  also always cherished individual liberty, but wrestled with balancing individual freedoms with public safety and well being. As more groups of people who were historically disenfranchised have greater access to social, economic and political equality, individuals who feel threatened or disenfranchised have become more emboldened and, in too many instances, violent. The violence is not only self-inflicted, but too often the shooter’s personal drama becomes the unending pain of so many others directly affected by the seemingly random madness. The shooter’s disconnection from humanity may not resonate with many others who would probably reject violence, but the shootings reverberate and shake us to our core.

Even sadder, it seems as though the only ones who are stirred are the disaffected. For those who are driven by madness, we need to make it harder for them to act upon violent fantasies. Where is the leadership? Tweets and petitions may stir some folks into demanding change, but more serious legislation is necessary. Where is the outrage? What does it take to stir political leaders to act?

Going Upstairs Backwards

There’s nothing like pain to make us aware of our habits. Spasms redirect our attention to clenched muscles that seem to control us, rather than the other way around. Shooting, stabbing, burning, stinging, throbbing, aching,  hurting, sore…pain. Sometimes mere discomfort distracts us from our automatic lives, and asks us to pay attention. Agony is overwhelming, and suffering is more chronic misery. But the regular discomforts often steal our focus and energies, and ask us to do something different. With a different focus, we may adjust our posture or stance, or where we sit and how we proceed.

This is true of any sort of pain. Physical, emotional, psychological, existential pain asks us to attend to the sensation. We often get stuck when confronted with pain. Too often we compensate with unintended consequences. Sometimes we  consciously ignore the signals, as though giving in to a toddler’s temper tantrum will reinforce the tendency for eruptions. It is often hard to know how to deal with discomforts and pain so that they are  not reinforced or cause other damage. Some people wallow, others martyr, most numb themselves. Dealing with discomfort and pain as a lesson, is often reduced to avoidance.

Over the last 10.5 months, while strengthening myself physically, and taking the time to better manage my physical health, I decided to write. With no timeline in mind, or even a  roadmap or GPS, I wanted to experiment in a way that I had never attempted before, and create conversations. Forever committed to strengthening parenting and family life, education, Culture and culture, and healthy homes, schools and communities, I learned that I could be  critical  while optimistic. Moreover, I could learn from everyday discomforts and sometimes pain and even agony, both my own and societal, that there are always lessons. In looking back over the essays that span less than a year, I am reminded of political events and societal changes that, for some, were painful or uncomfortable . Some moments have been liberating culminations of long, painful battles that now demand societal realignment. Some moments seem to be flare ups of old wounds or negative habits. Time seems to move more quickly than it used to as we are exposed to so much more information at lightening speed, and it is easy to forget moments that affected us–that gave us opportunities to not merely get over the pain, but to learn from it. In reflecting upon the last 10.5 months, I am amazed at what is possible in less than a year. Some pain is chronic; some acute. Discomforts are inevitable, but as we redirect our focus and energies, and adjust our postures and stances, and even where we sit and how we proceed, we may not only mitigate some pain, but move ourselves further ahead in ways that we may not have even considered.

With a recent flare of back trouble, I have been having immense pain sitting and in many positions. Walking up the stairs has been another difficulty. This is not a new situation, but like most aches and pains (and worse), the situation flares from time to time. This time, I decided to try walking up the stairs backwards. It takes me a little longer (not much) and at first I needed more support. But I get up the stairs now! With fewer spasms! Of course looking back one sees how far one has gone, but more than that, sometimes looking at where we were and how we held ourselves and then tweaking it, allows us to be in a better, more comfortable and healthier position to elevate ourselves.

Guys’ Guise

Timothy Egan wrote an op-ed in today’s New York Times (January, 17, 2014) offering a thoughtful response to Brit Hume’s recent comment that Chris Christie is merely a “Guy’s Guy”–an apparently endangered species.

You may have heard Brit Hume, that is, Senior Political Analyst Brit Hume of Fox News, refer to Governor Christie’s problem. It’s not that he’s arrogant, paranoid, testy, bullying or too blunt for the P.C. culture. It’s just that he’s an “old fashioned guy’s guy” in a “feminized” world — an endangered species adrift on a floe of mush….

…He said, “By which I mean that men today have learned the lesson the hard way that if you act like a kind of an old-fashioned guy’s guy, you’re in constant danger of slipping out and saying something that’s going to get you in trouble and make you look like a sexist or make you look like you seem thuggish or whatever.”

I appreciate Egan’s clarification and answer to a particular concept of masculinity (which  Brit Hume, et al. equate with strength):

If you say something that genuinely offends women, it’s not because you’re a brawny dude, speaking freely, or even standing up to the culture patrol. It’s because you’re insensitive to people in general — the daughters, wives and mothers of many a manly man. Or, at the least, it’s because you’re outdated, like showing up for work at a tech company with a cellphone the size of a shoebox.

What has been missing from the discussion, however, is the subtext that being “feminine” or our supposedly “feminized” culture is an insult. “Masculinity”, whether defined by Brit Hume, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, or articulated through Chris Christie, Phil Robertson (of Duck Dynasty fame), Sarah Palin, or many others who seem to defy the laconic male icon of yesteryear, seems to refer to a particular paradigm that they conflate not merely with gender, but with strength and superiority. Calling someone “a fag” or a behavior “gay” is meant to be insulting in this crowd. Small mindedness, is somehow rebranded as assuredness and strength. In this crowd, it’s bully for the bullies! Shooting from the hip is preferable to being hip–which, to the “Guys”, is just a feminized subculture of spineless socialists. In that universe, there is not a ying-yang balance of energies that we call masculine and feminine, each with attributes valuable to the health of humanity. It’s right and wrong (wrong = left, feminized); strong and weak; makers and takers. These are the masculine and feminine types of that world. In that world of “Guys and Dolls”, guys play with dolls.

The guys’ guise is feigning strength and security through righteous impasse. They not only feel threatened, and reject even their own possible evolution, much less the evolution of culture, (not to mention nature), but suggest that that which they describe as feminine is what undermines them. The ideals of strength and honor are not gender specific. Moreover, gender is beyond biology. It is a cultural construct, and like it or not, cultures evolve.

Our job as parents and educators and citizens is to build a better society and a healthier culture that elevates and broadens. Under the guys’ guise, being a loudmouth or intimidating is just being a guy, and guys are now victims of this henpecked culture. The guys’ guise is not really political (although it could easily be construed as such). It’s cultural. There are small minded people everywhere, and thugs and trolls left and right. Strength is not a guy issue. It is not the same as intransigence. Flexibility is not a gender issue. The habits of mind (and culture) that include thought, reason, consideration, reflection, flexibility, appreciation and expansion build strength. That’s not a guy thing, despite the guys’ guise.

Target

Yesterday, the revelation that over 40 million people may have been hacked at Target over the last few weeks was stunning and terrifying. I suspect that Target wasn’t the only target. I would not be surprised to learn that other stores were also targeted. Certainly the holiday shopping season (the fifth season from Thanksgiving to just after New Year’s) is the perfect time to breach a retailer’s system. Of course, it’s not just the retailer who is ruined. Millions of lives are, at best, disrupted. For some, the impact may be horrific, especially at this time of year.

It is easy to feel paranoid these days. So much seems out of our control. To be up to speed (which is quite fast), one must surrender to more and more channels and networks, further and further removed from an original action, that through incredible technology, allows actions and transactions to occur instantaneously. We tend to forget that because so much of our transactions are instantaneous, that there is actually a network out there–wherever there is. It feels immediate and therefore gives us the sense of interaction. Or maybe we are just more willing to surrender to what seems so much easier than waiting. We feel like we can accomplish so much more than we used to. But, there are daily reminders of nefariousness. It is easy to feel like a target.

Like terrorism, cyber hacking seems to prey on obvious targets through innocent civilians who are merely living their lives. It is cruel and terrifying, and after each incident, we redouble our efforts to create better protection. But the fear and paranoia lingers as we increase safety measures. There is a sense that we are always targets.

When we are able to put aside the threats of terrorism and hacking, we worry that we are being targeted by the NSA, or advertisers, or even by political ideologues. It seems as though we are targeted by anyone and everyone. While some target us for our potential business or donations, others target us as “the other”, and therefore the problem: teachers; unions; single parents; poverty stricken; Wall Streeter; drug addicted; super wealthy; politician; left; right; religious; atheist; ……You are either with us or against us. Marketers seek their target audiences. We target others and get targeted by others all the time.

While it is easy to be concerned about nefarious targeting and the fear of being an innocent victim, I am actually more concerned about the prosaic targeting that is part of our culture and constantly exhibited by individuals regardless of beliefs or station in life. We live in echo chambers. It is tribal. We seem more focused on targeting frustrations at others than on working through problems, integrating different components. Yes, compromising.  The holidays may be a time to reflect upon targets. We like New Year’s resolutions as they redirect our attention toward personal improvement (usually not at the affect of others). When we target others, we diminish them. They become one dimensional. When we include others–even differing opinions and ways–the target shifts toward building; toward more dimensions.

2013 was a year of many difficulties that became compounded by targeting individuals or agencies for blame, rather than acknowledging what (or who) was problematic and  focusing on improvement.  We had plenty of target practice this year, perfecting the aim with our weaponry, literally and figuratively.  We can aim for much better–changing the old targets. There is so much that we can’t control–or rather–there is only so much that we can control. We can choose new targets that do not diminish. The narrow targets, those that are from a single point of view, diminish. This holiday season, when we try to take a break from our troubles and  enjoy our families and some peace, we can redirect and begin a new target practice. Don’t target others. Aim positively. Happy Holidays!

Tradition

A great miracle happened there. Pilgrims. NativeTribe. Religious freedom. Family. Gratitude. Rededication. Gifts.  Sharing the bounty of food. Turkey. Stuffing. Cranberries. Wine. Sweet potatoes. Latkes. Thanksgiving and Hanukkah have much in common, although it is spectacularly uncommon that they coincide on the calendar. This year Thanksgiving 2013 occurs on the first day of Hanukkah 5774.

By now, you have undoubtedly been preparing for this Holidaypalooza, whether or not you celebrate Hanukkah. Our American culture in 2013 emphasizes food and shopping as the significant features of holidays. American holidays become legally designated as holidays so that they can stimulate the economy. Black Friday has become a tradition over the last fifty years, as the day after Thanksgiving initiates the holiday shopping season. It is not a legal federal holiday, but since so many retailers  have joined the ranks of encouraging shoppers, and so many people take off for the long weekend following Thanksgiving, over time, Black Friday has become a tradition. Although in recent years some mega-retailers have extended their hours to entice more shoppers, there has been a bit of fallout in reaction. The most recent extension of hours and requirements for retail employees seems to offend those who value other traditions more than the tradition of shopping.

We carry the tradition of Thanksgiving through our family get togethers and foods .Traditionally, school children have donned Pilgrim and Native American costumes and seen cornucopia associated with the first Thanksgiving. The historical accuracy is not as significant as the traditional values of the holiday, exemplified by family feasts gobbling turkey and cranberry sauce and over the years, “traditional” dishes including green bean casserole, ambrosia, stuffing, and as many dishes as possible infused with ambers and deep reds and the colors of autumn. We have images of American family and abundance for which we are thankful. Then we watch football.

Like Thanksgiving, Hanukkah is celebrated through distinctive foods and objects. Potato  latkes (pancakes) and donuts are eaten to symbolize the miracle of the oil that lasted for eight days upon the rededication of the Temple. The dreidel, the four-sided top with a hebrew letter on each side that together form an acronym translated to “a great miracle happened there”, was traditionally a decoy. The story goes that when the Greeks outlawed the practice of Judaism, children would hide their torah scrolls and take out their dreidels when soldiers were approaching. The story of Hanukkah is the story of the Maccabean revolt against the Seleucid monarchy. Hanukkah means rededication, and in that case, it was the celebration of the victory against those who prohibited religious practices and defiled the Holy Temple. The nine branched candelabra or menorah, (chanukkiah in hebrew) is lit in commemoration of the story of Hanukkah, and symbolizes rededication as well as the victory for religious freedom. Miracles.

The traditions of Thanksgiving and Hanukkah are both iconic and evolving. Shared customs become traditions over time. Our foodie culture and ever increasing diversity as well as global availability of foods have enabled us to expand our holiday menus to logically incorporate ingredients that were not available or known in earlier times. Turkey and sweet potato latkes makes perfect sense! They are not only delicious, but reference earlier themes of the holidays and reflect our current modern blending of cultures and ideals. I suspect that although the Thanksgivingukkah holiday this year is unique, the features are in fact the stuff of new traditions. The abundance that we share and seek to create in 2013 and 5774 (tomorrow), is the essence of Thanksgiving. Religious tolerance. Sharing beyond one’s tribe. Family gatherings. Abundance.These are traditions that we seek to pass on. Why not rededicate yourself to creating more opportunities  to be thankful. Why not create traditions that include better working conditions, fairer wages and hours, and benefits? Shopping on Black Friday is not a tradition in my family. Being together and connecting to the ones far away is our tradition.

Despite all the problems and injustices that we must overcome in our country and in our culture, I am thankful for the promise that is America. A great miracle happened there. Pilgrims. NativeTribe. Religious freedom. Family. Gratitude. Rededication. Gifts.  Sharing the bounty of food. Turkey. Stuffing. Cranberries. Wine. Sweet potatoes. Latkes. Happy Thanksgivingukkah–no matter what your tradition!

Class Dismissed

America in the 21st Century is fast becoming a classless society. Whodda thunk? Well, it certainly started before the election of Barack Obama, and it isn’t Socialism. We are becoming a society without class–i.e. lacking grace or excellence, sophistication, refinement or quality. Decency doesn’t seem to be able to compete in the marketplace. More of everything is expected except restraint or refinement or deliberation.

Lack of class is not a new phenomenon, of course. Throughout history, education was not only considered the means to refined thought, speech and action, but an opportunity to greater possibilities in life. In the USA, education has always been a means to economic betterment as well as personal enrichment. In the last generation, faced with serious problems in education at all levels, attempts to improve schools have included more standardized tests and homework; fewer breaks, arts, phys ed, or literature. Meanwhile, we have seen a decline in actual college readiness, and with the media explosion over the last generation, a change in discourse that values uneducated speech as “real” (i.e. more compelling), and the cult of celebrity that makes unaccomplished and ordinary folks seemingly important. The accomplishment becomes getting on  the air, or followed on social media, liked on Facebook or re-tweeted. The content is practically irrelevant, and the lack of class seems to inspire reaction and attention, and feeds the beast which becomes a brand. That’s the marketplace. The opportunities are in the noise created, not in refined work or ideas or accomplishment.

We see this in entertainment. We also see the news as entertainment-reality show. Appealing to the lowest common denominator has mass appeal (and thus ad revenue). While sports have always been entertainment, we have made sport of politics with little to no possibility for governing. Governing is not entertainment, although clearly the current class in Congress seems to be more interested in politics as a blood sport rather than governance. There have always been boors in politics, and attention seekers, thugs and bullies. In this century, they have dominated discourse and the media.

This week the spotlight has shown on  Sarah Palin and  Richie Incognito (who is anything but). They epitomize our bullying, uneducated, unrefined, media driven classless society. Of course, most of us do not associate with such boors, but they claim too much attention while inadvertently revealing their lack of awareness, and forcing their domination over others. They seek to intimidate and relish their (repeated) aggressive  speech/behavior. Bullies tend to be arrogant and narcissistic, and typically tend to have trouble resolving problems. The opposite of bullying and problem solving requires thought, time, energy, planning and coordination with others while being willing to risk some power. These are the elements of education and refined thought and behavior.

I suspect that even our media-driven classless society will soon recalibrate. Some of the excesses of our classlessness will expire. New forms of education are evolving and  gaining traction as we correct what hasn’t worked, and seek to meet current and future diverse needs. Any real change will take a long time, and economics tends to be the driving force. To be a first class economy and culture requires time,education, thought, energy, innovation, planning, coordination, dignity, and a willingness to restrain some power.  Class dismissed? Not for those who want to –and can– do better.

Blurred Vision

In a world where we use our pocket sized phones to take instant pictures, it’s easy to assume there is no need to learn about apertures or even focusing. Just notice something that grabs your attention and click. Attention grabbing seems to be the force that propels us, keeping us flitting from one distraction to another. It used to be that grabbing one’s attention meant that someone’s  curiosity and interest could be stirred and then engaged and focused. Grabbing one’s attention was a prelude to a deeper encounter. More and more, it seems like grabbing attention is an end in itself. No need to focus much any more. Something else will grab our attention in an instant.

Of course, attention grabbers have always been around, but our capacity to focus and sustain attention seems to be diminishing, as more and more of us seem to be constantly distracted. Like a person who struggles with sustaining attention in several domains– most notably in academic and other executive type pursuits as well as social ones, but may be “hyper-focused” in highly specialized activities–our culture seems to be struggling, even disabled, by our current disorder. This attention grabbing and emphasis on distraction is being played out most cynically in Congress. The focus on governing has been lost to attention grabbing. We need to refocus.

I have often suggested in my comments on culture, education, and policies, that we can think differently and be more creative in all those domains. As a culture, we are losing focus on what matters because we have blurred vision. Many on the right and the left have 20/20 hindsight. They refer to earlier times when their visions produced focused agenda that had clear (positive) results (while the other side clearly had negative results). Now, in a divided country, it’s as though there is either a right eye or a left eye, and to use both might cause us to become cross eyed and more visually impaired, rather than binocular. Binocular vision gives us depth perception–the ability to see in three dimensions. Just as we need to adjust our eyes to different light conditions, we need to adjust our eyes to the conditions that darken our lives today and that cause us to lose focus . Crafting lenses that allow us to see more clearly close up as well as in the distance must be usable for both eyes. (Some of us like progressive lenses, but at least bi-focals are in order!) Some would say that the right and the left each have clear vision, but the eyes don’t function together and thus leave us impaired.

Blurred vision is cloudy. It is unfocused and can lead to confusion and potential danger. Corrective vision allows us to refocus and yes, to see better. We have been myopic, and allowed our attention to be grabbed continuously as we have lost focus on policies that enhance our lives and improve our culture (and education). We need to correct our vision in both eyes,not merely try to weaken the other. We need greater perspective and depth to enhance our vision and sharpen it. Attention grabbing won’t go away, but we can strengthen our ability to focus on what is central and necessary, rather than on what is peripheral. Perhaps, in order to correct our blurred vision and see more clearly, we will have to get a new prescription. It’s important to have regular examinations. I think some of the prescriptions we’ve tried are past their expiration dates.

Jeopardy

Long before Steve Jobs was the voiceover for those “Think Different” ads for Apple computers, Jeopardy! took the concept of game shows in a different direction by requiring contestants to think of the question for the answer that was provided. The answers are clues to the questions that need to be asked. The money is awarded for the questions, not the answers. Maybe there’s a lesson here.

On day 2 of the 2013 Government Shutdown, (or as some would prefer to spin it, Government Slim Down), many of us do feel a sense of being in jeopardy. Even those of us who may not feel an immediate threat by this government shutdown, are dismayed by the ridiculousness and incompetence that has lead to yet another crisis, this one self-inflicted. Many of us hesitate to refer to “our” representatives, as we do not feel represented in Congress.  I know a single mother of two who is furloughed now. NO income for her or her kids, while Congresspeople still get paid. I guess that’s why some spin this latest drama as a slim down, not a shut down, as only some “non-essential” services are shut down. Well, the workers are essential. Just ask them if their work matters to providing for themselves and their families. I can’t say that this is a matter of right and left. It is a matter of right and wrong. Congress’ job is writing and passing laws. If one’s ideology is based on opposing government, then don’t work for the government (which is of the people, by the people and for the people). The ideological purity and reckless behavior is small-minded and adolescent. It may provide a rush of energy, which may feel invigorating and create a sense of possibility to them, but it’s shortsighted, immature, ignorant, and at this point, idiotic. It puts individuals, families, communities, and our nation and culture in jeopardy.

This 2013 Government Shutdown is the most recent in a seemingly continuous crumbling of what was once a thriving culture built upon a strong infrastructure. We have been splintering politically for some time, and the vitriol has been corrosive. Many have bemoaned the disintegration of our political system and likened that to the disintegration of our roads, bridges, levees, and education system. We (they) keep kicking the can down the road. Well, the road has potholes, and needs to be fixed and maintained. Existing from crisis to crisis keeps us from tending to basic needs and puts our nation’s future in jeopardy.

…Which brings me back to thinking different(ly) and to Jeopardy!……..Thinking one has the answer(s), may occasionally (and temporarily) provide solutions. But, smugness and absolutism are at best short-term satisfactions, and ultimately close the door to possibility and progress . Questions, on the other hand, are openings. They invite creativity and innovation, and using facts and applied knowledge rather than ideologies, invite possibilities for growth and betterment. We need to create a culture of inquiry rather than one of purity and jeopardy. We need to seek questions.

Now, of course we need short term solutions as well as long term ones, but our attachment to righteousness keeps us from continuous inquiry. I don’t mean continuous inquiry in the sense of seeing problems that aren’t there, or by creating media opportunities with senate inquiries. These are fixed ideologies masquerading as inquiries. Inquiring, as a habit of mind, means showing an interest in learning new things–not merely reinforcing beliefs. As a culture, we have shifted away from inquiry over the last generation. We have seen this play out in the political realm and the social fallout has been undeniable. Our culture has reflected the political fractures and anti-intellectual stances. Science became a matter of belief or faith,as opposed to factual knowledge and truth. Not understanding evolution gave way to not believing in evolution. What does this say about our education system? Politics, education, culture….they are all connected and in jeopardy. But, cultural shifts can make a difference, and a shift toward a culture of inquiry could open possibilities toward a healthier political system and education system.

While accountability and standardization are understandable goals in education (and elsewhere), we must acknowledge when focusing on the answers has had unintended consequences. The cost of our education system and culture of education, has been corrosive to our kids, and to our culture at large. Going forward, maybe we need to think in questions more than in answers. Creating a culture of inquiry–of learning new things, can start in our schools from the earliest years all the way through. There is a terrific piece on this very issue by  educator Thom Markham. http://www.teachthought.com/learning/a-culture-of-inquiry-through-a-forward-leaning-curriculum/

Our current state of dysfunctional government, politics, journalism, media, education, culture…….may put us in jeopardy for a better tomorrow, but I’ll bet everything on creating a culture of inquiry. We have the tools for researching and delving that make learning so different from any other time in history. We have unprecedented access to information, so the time is perfect for a cultural shift toward one of inquiry. This would be thinking different. We’re in jeopardy when we are stuck with answers without figuring out  the questions.  Winning would require questions, not shutting down and staying stuck.

Assisted Living Facility

Living independently is a particularly American ideal. Individualism emphasizes the value of self-reliance and independence. The concept of independence as individualism has progressed toward libertarianism with increasing zeal in more recent years. As a culture, we have developed the attitude that dependence, or needing assistance, is negative. Not only have we as a culture historically looked down upon those needing assistance, but we have also looked down upon care givers. Those who care for others are often regarded as unskilled, perhaps  less intelligent and/or  less educated, or without leadership abilities. They are often considered beneath the “real” workers and leaders. Historically, women have been the care givers, and when women did work outside the home (perhaps before marriage, until feminism kicked in), the jobs were usually seen as extensions of care giving–teaching, secretarial work, nursing. These were so-called “pink collar” jobs, as were other jobs that recruited women, including stewardesses, hostesses, and waitresses. When women began to have greater access to any careers, and some brave men ventured into what was known as “pink collar” jobs, some job titles changed to reflect more gender neutrality.  Stewardesses became flight attendants. Waiters and waitresses are now referred to as servers. Secretaries, usually responsible for correspondence, morphed into administrative assistants. Although secretaries were mostly female pre-feminism, the title “administrative assistant” signified a broadening of the administrative tasks and responsibilities (including project management and other administrative tasks beyond correspondence), but also signified a break from the pre-feminist association with (female) secretaries.

Now, as we forge ahead attempting to balance demands of the workplace with the demands of a home life, and we continue to expand our notions of gender and identities, we continue to wrestle with our cultural notions of independence. We still tend to equate maturity with independence– not with care giving. We still tend to equate ability with independence– not with sharing. A facility for assisted living refers to a place for those whose abilities may be diminished, and support services are available as needed without 24 hour care. We think of assisted living facilities as places designed to provide freedom and dignity for those in need of support for activities of daily living. What about our own internal facilities for assisted living–our own capacities to support one another?

We tend to not only devalue care givers and others in supportive roles, but we have even ascribed blame to them in relation to those who have suffered from addictions and behavior problems. The care givers are blamed as the co-dependents and/or the enablers. That is not to say that negative symbiotic relationships don’t exist. Of course they do,and often when dealing with destructive behaviors and relationships, we must be aware of the potential for co-dependency and enabling. But assisting living, is productive. Some people have a greater capacity for assisting and supporting than others, but like any capacity, we can learn and practice and develop. We can even elevate ourselves and others. Nurture may be part of nature, but it is also honed. We can develop our capacities to assist others, but we must also develop our awareness of the specialness of that capacity.

Living requires assistance and assistants. We delude ourselves into thinking that we are most dignified when we are independent. We are most dignified, when we give of ourselves to others and use our efforts to support others to be their best. We can develop our assisted living facility. This moves us and our culture forward.