Shame Must Change Sides

This week

in between

is really seen

as a global

holiday

season.

The contrast

is vast

between 

the miraculous

and the rest

of us;

darkness

and light

and not

just

at night.

The kindness

reminds us

that our

gifts

mend

our rifts

and drifts

from basics.

The memory

of

the year

with a new one

so near

is condensed

to the election

and the fear

of  an inflection

point.

But another

story,

details

quite gory,

is still

quite worthy

of our

consideration.

In France,

was a

trial

so vile

it was almost

beyond

comprehension.

Gisele Pelicot

didn’t know

she was 

being drugged

and raped

and video taped

by her spouse

in their house

while men

he arranged,

(this is all

so deranged),

to violate

her

as he watched

dozens

of them

over dozens

of years.

It sears

the heart

and brain.

In 2024

Gisele

could restore

herself

and us

with justice.

The disregard

of humanity,

the insanity,

and the evil

lengths

to which

people

will go

for their

libido 

and ego

satisfaction

is not

the story’s

end.

With unfathomable

strength

and grace

she reminds

us 

to face

and say

what is so:

“Shame

must change

sides.”

Gisele Pelicot,

my shero.

Beyond

2024,

though

we will

have to endure,

we shall

restore,

and

it will

surely be

a rough ride.

Shame 

must change

sides!

And hope

resides

in action.

Choice Cuts

Fear always

feels 

like avoiding 

suffering.

Putting up 

a wall

shutting out 

that visitor

who stays 

too long.

Maybe suffering

is a ghost;

a memory

that haunts

with threats

of incapacitating

or decapitating

abilities.

Suffering

is the evil

twin

of resilience.

Sapping

strength,

balance,

and agility,

suffering

conquers

us 

and 

is

an identity

thief.

It’s got

our 

number:

Persistently 

calling

us

to answer

their scam,

distracting 

us

incessantly 

from 

the rest

of life.

Resilience 

acknowledges

pain

and 

has space

for choice.

Suffering

devours

choice 

and 

hope,

limiting

possibility

to be

otherwise.

Resilience

remembers

accomplishment

with pain

and the possibility

of overcoming

overwhelming

experiences.

Suffering  is

a condition.

Pain is

an experience,

perhaps prolonged,

and even

from

a condition,

that is a part

of life—

not the experience

of life

itself. 

Pain 

is

a fact.

Suffering 

is 

a choice.

Who Knew?

Who knew “that healthcare could be so complicated”?

Who knew that deportation edicts could cause chaos and inspire hate?

Who knew that experience matters?

Who knew that respect is useful?

Who knew that disrespectful words and actions could yield hateful words and actions, and threatening and criminal behavior?

Who knew that racism was institutional?

Who knew that misogyny is alive and well?

Who knew that ultra-nationalism and xenophobia would resurface?

Who knew that anti-semitism didn’t die with Hitler?

Who knew that one’s personal gender definition and sexual preference would threaten others?

Who knew that differences could strengthen us and elevate us?

Who knew that hate always lurks under the surface?

Who knew that the press is the enemy?

Who knew that public radio, television, schools, and bathrooms are threatening?

Who knew that National Parks are unAmerican and a waste?

Who knew that Climate Change is real?

Who knew that alternative facts were made up?

Who knew that facts are facts, and that they matter?

Who knew that wars were always won?

Who knew that friends and family loyalty would be a potential problem for governing the USA?

Who knew that Republicans would turn a blind eye to Russian interference in our election?

Who knew that business deals can be a conflict of interest with politics?

Who knew that Democrats could be so ineffective and uninspiring?

Who knew that the term “working class” often refers to white people?

Who knew that teachers matter?

Who knew that the arts are essential to education and humanity?

Who knew that the sciences are essential to education and humanity?

Who knew that health is a right, and an essential part of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?

Who knew that infrastructure would be so expensive?

Who knew that American-made would be costly?

Who knew that anyone, and any family in any and every community in the US can be afflicted by drugs and addiction?

Who knew that “The American Dream” was always a dream without consistent effort and reinforcement?

Who knew that cultural divisions would drive politics and governance?

Who knew that Democracy requires education, access, vigilance, tolerance, honesty, equality, and balance of power?

Who knew that a white billionaire developer’s hiding his tax returns before becoming POTUS would not be questioned, but a black senator’s birth certificate would be demanded after he became POTUS?

Who knew that W’s words would be welcome now?

Who knew that Moonlight was the best picture, not La La Land?

Who knew that not normal is normal?

Who knew? It’s simple: it’s complicated.

Control -Alt -Delete

I have long thought that Donald Trump wanted to return to an alternative version of the 1990s—not the 1980s ( when Trump Inc built gaudy buildings and he became a loud-mouth celebrity of sorts); nor the 1950s—that vanilla era of seeming harmony and affluence, when Father knew Best, and Westerns dominated tv (and the issues of civil rights and women’s rights were simmering beneath the frothy surface).

The 1960s, of course, would not be the Don’s optimal back to the future decade. It was then that he avoided serving, obtaining 4 deferments, ultimately keeping him from going to Vietnam.

The turbulence of the 60s and 70s were not his bag. He began working for his father, and by 1971 took over the real estate firm and expanded it exponentially, for hundreds of businesses and partnerships.

But the 1990s….now there’s a decade to which he seems to want to return. He could Delete the Clintons, and restore an Alternative version, where he could Control the media (especially using 21st century Twitter). So far, he has sought to correct political correctness—that 90s term— by Alternatively spewing hateful, cruel, or at best, thoughtless phrases. The Contract with America will get an Alt-Right update with Trump. As long as he is in Control, (and Republicans Control both houses), the Alt-Right will Delete whatever it can.

The 90s… We were not deeply embroiled in wars and our economy was strong, and to most, felt strong. Law and Order reigned supreme. (Never mind the consequences over the last 3 decades.) The Militia movement became a thing. The President could get impeached for a sex scandal and remain in office. Microsoft was dominant. And of course, with the collapse of Communism, Russia could be our new friend.

Enter Trump. In the Trump universe of “truthful hyperbole” or Kellyanne Conway’s “alternative facts”, anything goes—especially facts. This administration is desperate to Control or provide “Alternative”, or just Delete facts that are unappealing.

The Women’s March on Saturday, an historic event in the USA and around the globe, was not only remarkable in its numbers, but in its inclusion, peace, and joy. Everywhere, participants seemed to share the same experience. Women organized a march (and satellite marches and rallies) that encouraged participation, expansion, opportunities, concern for one another, and responses to the insults and invective that Mr. Trump has hurled, especially at women. This was not merely “identity politics”, another throwback term. This was a statement of solidarity that we can do better—all of us— on a range of issues.

Communities everywhere were invigorated. Individuals were energized. The tone everywhere was positive and aspirational, in stark contrast to the “American Carnage” Inauguration speech delivered just the day before. But Trump and his spokespeople insisted on the new Control Alt Delete in response: Determined to assert Control by insisting on “Alternative Facts” and even deleting unappealing information.

Today, the Trump administration issued a gag order to the Environmental Protection Agency, instructing the EPA not to discuss a recent freeze on grant funding and forbidding the U.S. Dept of Agriculture from releasing “public-facing documents”. No tweeting, National Parks!

This Control Alt Delete strategy is Orwellian and feels utterly Anti-American, not retro. Trump proclaimed his Inauguration a “National Day of Patriotic Devotion”. His charge that day and his Control Alt Delete actions every other minute are the antithesis of the patriotic devotion that I experienced and witnessed on Saturday. And I have never felt more patriotic devotion than I did that day.

Diversity became pluralism. Liberty (not mentioned in the inaugural speech) was petitioned for all. Excellence in our institutions, not dismantling them, was being insisted upon. Community engagement and action opportunities were provided. And the truth was in the facts.

Control Alt Delete won’t make America great again. But a new movement is afoot that just might.

Pope and Change

No, that’s not a typo. And yes, it does sound familiar.

I have been thinking about this Pope’s compassion. His willingness to pastor to those whom others have sought to ignore or even vilify, has been a welcome change. The institution of the papacy has not changed, although there is a growing movement to break down old,seemingly sacred barriers to include people who have been previously excluded, and to actually reform what has given cover to corruption and abuse. The change that the world is witnessing with Pope Francis, is one of greater compassion, caring, and reverence for actual life, not merely theoretical life, including sustaining our environment and taking action to mitigate climate change.

Many mock “Hope and Change” as a bumper sticker for the presidential race of ’08, and site everything that has challenged their beliefs or seemed wrong, or was difficult and incomplete, and even worse in some respects, as evidence that hope and change was a hoax. We must remember the reality of hope: Hope is not a solution. It is a spark.

Hope may evoke an ideal, and even ideas of change, but the words and deeds produced out of that hope are indeed seeds of change. Fear may also evoke an ideal, albeit a negative one— a hazard. The energy of fear often produces extreme speech and rigid responses. It limits possibilities in order to confirm a conviction of threat.

It is easy to feel despair and point to all that is wrong to confirm the hopeless conviction. It is difficult to create change in the space of despair. Resignation eliminates possibility. Moreover, it is easy for fear to take over, and fear has an energy that can overwhelm us, limiting possibility, or unleashing repressive or aggressive speech and/or actions.

For  many, this week is holy. For others, it may be a highly ritualized few days. Regardless of religious interpretations, this Pope’s visit is at once specific to a tradition and inclusive of those beyond that specific tradition. For those who observe the Day of Atonement, Yom Kippur, the holiest day of the year in Jewish tradition, forgiveness of oneself and others is the primary concern. Atonement is practiced both privately and among the community. There is hope for change (for the better) after acknowledging wrongdoings—intentional or unintentional—and seeking to repair that which was broken.

Of course, at -one- ment, that experience of unity, is fleeting. After the blessings and the rituals and the speeches and the excitement have passed, whether it’s the Pope or the President, or the candidate, or the pundit, or the teacher, or the tweeter, or any other revered or merely popular figure, it’s our own words and deeds that require regular attention, and a willingness to not say and /or do what we’ve always done.

I am curious to hear the Pope as he visits the U.S. for his first time. Although I am not Catholic, I welcome wisdom and compassion and the cultivation of peace through peace. So many Americans of so many different religious traditions find him to be a welcome change and an inspiration. We do not have to have been raised in the same institutions or culture or religious faith to be inspired and educated and glean wisdom. We can welcome the Pope, and change.