United States

Purple Hearts

Today is Veterans’ Day, 2014. What began as Armistice Day at the 11th hour of the 11th day of the 11th month of 1918, marking the cessation of combat on the Western Front of  what became known as World War 1, is now a day to honor our military Veterans beyond WW1. (The last U.S. World War 1 veteran died in February, 2011 at age 110.)

Today we honor those who served in the armed forces. The last year has highlighted the ways in which we have not honored veterans the rest of the year, especially when the VA scandal revealed staggering incompetence and data manipulation that put veterans’ health and lives at risk. While VA Secretary Eric Shinseki has been replaced with Robert McDonald, the dysfunction is being sorted out and reorganization is slowly being implemented.  Last night, McDonald announced a complete restructuring of the department, designed to make it easier for veterans to access information and service. This restructuring is the largest in the department’s history, as it seeks to focus on actual customer service for the agency that serves 22 million veterans.Veterans should not have to thank the VA for their service.

The VA scandal was more than a disservice to those who served in our military. The scandal became yet another example of dysfunctional government. Democrats and Republicans may have agreed on the unacceptability of the status quo with regard to the VA, but beyond that, they retreated to their posts blaming the other. Actually, the VA scandal was but one of many examples of dysfunctional government whereby governing gets lost to politics, and venom spewed at enemies.

Just a week ago, the midterm elections revealed how few are truly engaged in civics and the political process. PBS reported that the 2014 midterm election turnout was the lowest in 70 years! 36.4 percent of eligible voters turned out in 2014. Attack ads reigned supreme with a dearth of ideas. Policies that have made a difference were ignored. Preying on fears and the tribalism that we call party politics has yielded us a midterm election decided by the lowest turnout in 70 years. The combination of disengagement and vitriol  seems to be the norm on the home front, but we would never want our soldiers to carry these behaviors with them. And they deserve better at home!

Today we honor our veterans for their service. They should inspire service in various forms in us. Missions demand engagement and integrity, and actual accomplishment. These are the qualities embodied by the men and women we honor today. Service deserves to be honored, but not through the prism (prison?) of Republican or Democrat– Red or Blue.

Today, on Veterans’ Day, I’m thinking about a purple heart. The Purple Heart has been the traditional military decoration awarded by the President to those wounded or killed while serving in battle against our enemies. This award for heroism reminds us of the incredible sacrifices some have made for the American ideal and to keep enemies from harming American civilians. I imagine an additional purple heart. We may still have red states and blue states, both mental and territorial, but we’ve certainly lost our purple heart.  Today, we can honor veterans through actual support with services and opportunities (healthcare, education, jobs, housing,etc). It will demand service from our own purple hearts–not red or blue– to accomplish missions beyond obstruction and disengagement; towards actually transforming the status quo peacefully.

FANtastic

Last night, one of the stranger moments in American politics occurred. Already, you might be thinking….this should be a doozie. Moreover, it was one of the strangest moments in Florida politics. Now that’s saying something (without saying anything)!

Last night was the first gubernatorial debate between Gov. Rick Scott and former Gov., and former Republican, now Democrat, Charlie Crist. Although I have grown to loathe these performances called debates, I agreed to watch and see if it was worth anything. The moderators were introduced and were about to introduce the candidates, when they were informed that both candidates were not yet available. Strange. Then Charlie Crist emerged and stood behind his podium. Alone. The moderators were flummoxed and clearly unprepared for such an occurrence. The camera zoomed in on an oscillating fan ensconced in the base of Crist’s podium. The moderator then explained that Crist had a fan, but that the rules of the debate included no electronics. Rick Scott refused to debate Crist as long as Crist had a fan.

Ultimately, after several minutes (which felt like much more), Gov. Rick Scott appeared, and commenced the performance as though he were just running a bit late. Huh?

While Crist was waiting at the podium, the moderator read the rule regarding electronics and a statement from the Scott camp suggesting that Scott would not agree to debate unless all the rules were upheld. This of course gave Crist the opportunity to truly own the stage, by commenting that they should be debating issues affecting Floridians, including education and the economy, climate issues, etc–not whether or not a fan can be used.

Soon, the Scott camp reversed itself, I’m guessing because someone realized that Crist was scoring a point or two at the expense of Scott who was obstructing, and Scott then appeared ready to rumble.

Then I turned off the debate. I can not imagine that anyone would have been moved one way or the other, except to perhaps confirm the notion that voting doesn’t matter. This is the tragedy. We are rather entrenched in our ideologies, and political parties ensure those divisions. Even those of us who want to find ways to govern that would include compromise, often end up voting party line when we don’t know enough or care enough. Of course, this reinforces the political chasm that has rendered our system largely unworkable and unaccomplished.

I used to love politics and real debate about ideas and governance. Now, I am NO FAN! We rely on media, which is notoriously unreliable for advancing knowledge, and a campaign system that is a farce and an insane waste of money. I have tuned out much of the noise that is supposed to be news. I am no longer a fan!

Fandom is a curious phenomenon. While we seek like minded or similarly experienced people, or teams, or performers who seem to express our preferences and/or allegiances, too often fandom (or the display of fandom) becomes the ultimate expression. Fans tend to relish their own energy and feel good about being supportive of something exciting. The excitement is as much about being a fan as it is about the performer. Die hard fans, often ignore (and perhaps excuse) problematic performances and behavior (from performers and fans). We see this in politics and sports, and even the aging rocker (and aging fans) who are happy just to be doing the same schtick as long as possible.

Now, I am not suggesting that we should not have fans or that we should not be fans. I am suggesting that too often people get stuck in not seeing beyond fans.

Back Up

When I was a young child, I wanted to be a Supreme. Beyonce may indeed be Destiny’s Child, but I was more interested in The Miracles. Sure there was Diana and Smokey, but before they were American idols and icons, they had Supremes and Miracles.

The back up singers were us! I wanted to join them singing harmonies and vocals that complemented the lead singer’s melody. Back up singers were a pair or a group of fabulousness, rhythmically moving in sync, ooohing and aaaaahing, repeating key words and phrases, connecting the lead vocals to the rest of us.

There’s something interesting to me about The Supremes and The Miracles, beyond suggesting divine intervention in their lead singer’s voices. Surely they had to have terrific talent, but I think the groups that included the back up singers in the names of the groups, remind us of the importance of terrific talent beyond the front person. This is true in any organization–from families, institutions, agencies, companies, or any group. Harnessing excellence in every role makes the real difference.

We have a tendency to focus so much on individuals and leadership roles, often to the detriment of healthy organizations. Great leaders are great not only because of their vocals (what they say, and do), but because they have talent that supports their efforts. Too often, we forget to hone the skills for back up singing: a great voice; willingness to work in harmony; supplementing and accompanying the theme; learning the choreography for the production; complementing the lead vocalist, bringing the work to perfection.

Imagine if we gave employees, students, volunteers, care-givers and any non-leader who is charged with responsibilities, the expectation of being supreme or a miracle! Imagine if we sought out a work force comprised of stellar back up singers–using their well trained voices in concert (metaphorically speaking).

Now we have crews –not Supremes or Miracles, and without the expectation of significance and talent from those not in the spotlight, we not only lose excellence at all levels, but we mute important voices and diminish leading voices.

So many of our institutions have been crumbling from within, and without capable lead singers. Perhaps The Supremes and The Miracles were of their time. We don’t emphasize the back up singers very much today, but I still love being a back up singer (metaphorically now). There’s great importance and reward in generating support, and encouraging others to move with the tempo and sing along. Talented lead singing will be brought to excellence with talented back up singers. Start enrolling those supremes, and making some miracles.

The Jetsons Meet The Flintstones

Mid century, a half a century ago, two animated sitcoms became favorites for their takes on middle class life that at once seemed familiar and other-worldly. Fifty years before Modern Family, we were introduced to the modern stone age family,The Flintstones. A riff on The Honeymooners, The Flintstones used the comedic situations that were standard fare by the early 1960s, with the cute gimmick of prehistoric technologies–or modern situations demanding stone age materials and power (human and animal, including dinosaurs). The situations, aesthetics, cultural activities and references were all early sixties, including split-level caves with pelican washing machines. And who could forget Ann-Margrock serenading little Pebbles? The juxtaposition of modern with stone age was more modern than stone age, but the cultural signifiers were all suggested through stone age names and technology. The Flintstones was analog in every sense.

The Jetsons brought us from the stone age to the next space age. Cleverly combining the early sixties sensibility and success of The Flintstones with all things space related during the height of the space race, The Jetsons used the winning formula of The Flintstones and converted it to some future time when “typical” middle class families would be living in outer space. Of course, one would expect lots of gadgets and gizmos in the space age, and the idea of everything automated and robotic (including the housekeeper, Rosie) was in keeping with the images we as a culture expect(ed) of the future. Like The Flintstones, The Jetsons reminded us that although situations may include different technologies, the demands of life remain unchanged. Also, relationships are most important for happiness.

On both animated shows, the wives do not engage in professional work. They are mostly responsible for taking care of the home and the children, and being available to their husbands. The husbands must endure traffic and cranky bosses at soul sapping jobs, but are able to live decent lives and enjoy the company of their families and friends, even if they are negotiating inconveniences despite all the conveniences their applianced lives provide. Whether in the stone age or the space age, we see a mid-century middle class American family living comfortably on the husband/father’s salary, coping with everyday events that are undramatic, and require moderation,cooperation and fixing stuff. It’s all do-able. It’s the American Dream that we’d like to think exists in any age.

Now, 50 years after those cartoons ran in prime-time, I am struck by what it means to live in America in 2014. The recent release of the video of Ray Rice beating up his then-fiancee Janay Palmer in an elevator, and then dragging her limp and unconscious body out of the elevator, dumping her in front, and kicking her to clear the elevator doors, is more stone age than Fred Flintstone could ever have been. I do not judge the tragic Janay Palmer who went on to marry the brute, because although it is confusing, it is mostly heart-rending to me that she must feel as though she can’t leave him. It is beyond tragic. Wilma would never have stayed, and she had fewer options as a woman.

The public outcry when the video was publicly released was heartening in some ways. The NFL seemed out of sync with 2014. Sanity still exists outside the NFL. But, so do abusers and those who feel they can not leave. This is unconscionable in 2014.

If stone age behavior headlined the news again a few days ago, Jetson-esque news reigned supreme yesterday, with the rollout of the i-Phone 6 and the Apple Watch. Like the baby wooly mammoth vacuum cleaner and other animal powered appliances and machines on The Flintstones, or the myriad of push button devices, including Rosie, on The Jetsons, we love technology and the idea that our lives will be transformed by them. Technology does transform much of our lives and capabilities, and yet, with all the time and labor saving devices, we still get so stuck and feel so uncomfortable.

Despite all the social, cultural and technological advances we have made, we still seem to struggle so very much. Tonight, President Obama will address the nation (and the world) on how we will deal with ISIS. The Jetsons will meet The Flintstones.

Where Goes the Neighborhood?

It’s hard to beat Rodney Dangerfield’s epitaph: There goes the neighborhood. He took his self-deprecating humor with him all the way to the grave.

Of course, neighborhoods are for the living. While the thought of a cemetery as a neighborhood is rather humorous, the thought of a neighborhood becoming a cemetery is harrowing.

Neighborhoods without “neighborliness” are perilous. Neighbors are people in communities in close proximity to another set of people, but being neighborly implies friendly attitudes and behavior; or at the very least, not destructive attitudes and behavior.  The shortened slang term for neighborhood, “hood”, emerged from violent inner city areas. Dropping the “neighbor” from “neighborhood” implied much more than an abbreviation.

For the past few weeks, we have been following horrific crises caused by violence in Ukraine, the Middle East (ISIS, as well as the current conflict between Israel and Hamas, “Operation Protective Edge”), and in our own hemisphere, kids fleeing Central America on deadly journeys hoping to reach safety and their parents in the USA. These crises have been building for some time, but the unbearable circumstances causing the current crises seem too overwhelming to fathom, much less resolve adequately.

The horrors in all these crises are devastating, and the conflicts seem intractable. Hoodlums have military grade weapons and local power. Those neighborhoods are fast becoming cemeteries. While I am grateful to be living in a peaceful neighborhood far from these crises, it is still immensely disconcerting to consider the prevalence of terror and violence and disregard for humanity.

Most of us, however, teach our children to be good neighbors; to show respect and caring. We teach our children to extend this respect to others. “Neighbor” becomes a concept beyond proximity. We seek acceptance and friendship, or at least cooperation.Being a neighbor is not a unilateral proposition. Being a neighbor necessitates co-existence.

History has been fraught with violent conflicts between peoples, borders, nations, states, drug lords, territories, ideologies, and various sub-categories. History has also been made by neighbors; building communities, and rebuilding them after destruction.

A cemetery is not a neighborhood. Neighborhoods are for living–built and maintained by people committed to law and order, allowing for freedom from oppression and maintaining peaceful co-existence. It is distressing and sometimes paralyzing to watch as terrorists,tyrants and all sorts of thugs turn neighborhoods into cemeteries. Neighborhoods require care and attention. We must insist that leaders dismantle the political, organizational and military machinery that oppresses and violently destroys lives. While the neighborhood watch continues, we must also regard not just where we live, but how we live. How can we ensure peace, freedom and security for our children and for our neighbors’ children? They are never really that far away.

 

 

Pieceniks

Too many people seem to think that they alone have clarity and authority, and use their voices as weapons rather than as tools for construction.

Criticism is easy. Acknowledging uncomfortable truths that may cloud a stance seems to be much trickier, and is missing in most of the media. This is the habit of the 21st century thus far, as it plays out in politics and media everywhere–including in the USA. “Either you are with us or you are against us.” That has been true for the left and the right, and the rational middle either keeps quiet or is kept quiet by the bluster.

The fear of acknowledging any truth to other sides, or attempting to understand how other people can see a situation from such a different perspective, is part of our dumbing down. Politics, whether domestic or international, is more than a lost art. It is a blood sport–quite literally, around the globe.

Clearly, education has failed US. Rather than broadening our minds, we seem less able to consider the complexities of our world. Rather than seeking wisdom through education, we reflect a bombastic, reductionist culture that claims to love freedom, but has yet to understand the complexities and compromises of liberty and peace.

Freedom to rant and incite is not the goal of this experiment called Democracy. Telling part of a story with hyperbole is propaganda–whether the story is familiar or new. We use pieces of stories to construct whole narratives that, more often than not, distort truth. Tweets and posts and thoughtless news (and faux news) stories are cacophonous and foment hate and anxiety.

All these pieces that get aired and posted to justify the rights of one side (and the wrongs of the other) are too often just bits and pieces–fragments of truth. We have become more dedicated to our piece than to our peace.

When I decided to become an educator, I saw education as the path to peace. Clearly, knowing (or reading or hearing) isolated facts does not equal education. An educated mind is one that can weigh facts and opinions, and consider consequences–intended and unintended. Education is the opportunity to engage beyond one’s circumstance and experience. The old saying “knowledge is power” has become distorted by the deception that we are better informed because we have more cables and channels and devices. We have much more input, but seemingly less real knowledge and much less depth. Our broad bands connect us with pieces of information that get used for the pursuit of power more than for the pursuit of peace.

Perhaps old constructs need to be reconsidered, especially in this digital media age. What would it take to consider or possibly accept additional points of view? A piece of this? And a piece of that?  It may be the only way to pursue peace and not go to pieces.

238

They say it’s your birthday. Well it’s my birthday too, yeah…..Yes we’re going to a party party…. (The Beatles)

 

Two Hundred Thirty Eight years after declaring independence from the Kingdom of Great Britain,we have plenty of wrinkles and show signs of aging, and our weight has been redistributed over the years (and continues). We’ve also developed a rather cranky disposition, particularly over the last decade. Maybe it’s the constipation.

But, it’s our birthday and we’re gonna have a good time. We’ll get as much red white and blue stuff as possible, because nothing says freedom from oppression like buying stuff, unless it’s from Hobby Lobby and other businesses, where owners’ religious views on contraception allow them to not have to provide insurance coverage for contraception for their female employees.

Remember when we were younger, and our minds (and hearts) were smaller, and we didn’t demand that businesses serve everyone equally? It was wrong and needed to be corrected. We had another milestone this week– It has been 50 years since the Civil Rights Act of 1964 was passed. Much has changed in our 238 years, and mostly for the better. But forgetfulness often accompanies aging and stress, and lately we seem to have forgotten how to be the United States of America.

The ironically named Citizens United Supreme Court ruling in 2010 and this week’s Hobby Lobby case, have empowered those who seek to define personhood beyond living persons. Moreover, actual individual human people are considered less significant than those claiming personhood.

Like the adolescent who seeks to express independence from adult authority through insolent, obnoxious or sometimes violent or potentially harmful behavior, the reactionaries focus on themselves and claim oppression. This includes the open carry gun toters, who rant about their constitutional rights to protect (or just own guns) while clearly presenting weapons, which are indeed threatening. This is not the essence of independence, nor of the United States of America.

There was a bright spot this week, however, that spoke to the essence of independence and the United States of America. Tim Howard, the aptly named “Secretary of Defense” goalkeeper for team USA at the World Cup, was phenomenal as he blocked 16 shots from our Belgian opponents. Americans love a hero and love individuals. We rooted for our team, but they couldn’t score a goal. Still, we found a hero in the independent performance of Tim Howard. Let’s not forget, while Howard’s skill and determination were singularly executed, it was all for team USA.

When independence is for the greater good—for team USA(and beyond)– then independence is worth celebrating.  They say it’s your birthday. Well, it’s my birthday too, yeah…. we’re going to a party party…..

Shaken. Not Stirred.

Breaking News: Gunman kills student in school shooting. This is any day, USA. Yesterday it was the Las Vegas “anti-government” shooters. Over the weekend, three people were killed and 20 were wounded in shootings in Chicago. That’s one weekend in one city. You’ve seen the newsflashes. The horrors seem to be more frequent. There is more hysteria when the shootings are suburban or in schools (or malls or movie theaters). What was once (or twice or thrice) regarded as an anomaly, has become a daily news story. Yes. DAILY.

We are being terrorized. This time it is from within. We have always been a violent society, struggling to overcome violent impulses and histories. We have  also always cherished individual liberty, but wrestled with balancing individual freedoms with public safety and well being. As more groups of people who were historically disenfranchised have greater access to social, economic and political equality, individuals who feel threatened or disenfranchised have become more emboldened and, in too many instances, violent. The violence is not only self-inflicted, but too often the shooter’s personal drama becomes the unending pain of so many others directly affected by the seemingly random madness. The shooter’s disconnection from humanity may not resonate with many others who would probably reject violence, but the shootings reverberate and shake us to our core.

Even sadder, it seems as though the only ones who are stirred are the disaffected. For those who are driven by madness, we need to make it harder for them to act upon violent fantasies. Where is the leadership? Tweets and petitions may stir some folks into demanding change, but more serious legislation is necessary. Where is the outrage? What does it take to stir political leaders to act?

Going Upstairs Backwards

There’s nothing like pain to make us aware of our habits. Spasms redirect our attention to clenched muscles that seem to control us, rather than the other way around. Shooting, stabbing, burning, stinging, throbbing, aching,  hurting, sore…pain. Sometimes mere discomfort distracts us from our automatic lives, and asks us to pay attention. Agony is overwhelming, and suffering is more chronic misery. But the regular discomforts often steal our focus and energies, and ask us to do something different. With a different focus, we may adjust our posture or stance, or where we sit and how we proceed.

This is true of any sort of pain. Physical, emotional, psychological, existential pain asks us to attend to the sensation. We often get stuck when confronted with pain. Too often we compensate with unintended consequences. Sometimes we  consciously ignore the signals, as though giving in to a toddler’s temper tantrum will reinforce the tendency for eruptions. It is often hard to know how to deal with discomforts and pain so that they are  not reinforced or cause other damage. Some people wallow, others martyr, most numb themselves. Dealing with discomfort and pain as a lesson, is often reduced to avoidance.

Over the last 10.5 months, while strengthening myself physically, and taking the time to better manage my physical health, I decided to write. With no timeline in mind, or even a  roadmap or GPS, I wanted to experiment in a way that I had never attempted before, and create conversations. Forever committed to strengthening parenting and family life, education, Culture and culture, and healthy homes, schools and communities, I learned that I could be  critical  while optimistic. Moreover, I could learn from everyday discomforts and sometimes pain and even agony, both my own and societal, that there are always lessons. In looking back over the essays that span less than a year, I am reminded of political events and societal changes that, for some, were painful or uncomfortable . Some moments have been liberating culminations of long, painful battles that now demand societal realignment. Some moments seem to be flare ups of old wounds or negative habits. Time seems to move more quickly than it used to as we are exposed to so much more information at lightening speed, and it is easy to forget moments that affected us–that gave us opportunities to not merely get over the pain, but to learn from it. In reflecting upon the last 10.5 months, I am amazed at what is possible in less than a year. Some pain is chronic; some acute. Discomforts are inevitable, but as we redirect our focus and energies, and adjust our postures and stances, and even where we sit and how we proceed, we may not only mitigate some pain, but move ourselves further ahead in ways that we may not have even considered.

With a recent flare of back trouble, I have been having immense pain sitting and in many positions. Walking up the stairs has been another difficulty. This is not a new situation, but like most aches and pains (and worse), the situation flares from time to time. This time, I decided to try walking up the stairs backwards. It takes me a little longer (not much) and at first I needed more support. But I get up the stairs now! With fewer spasms! Of course looking back one sees how far one has gone, but more than that, sometimes looking at where we were and how we held ourselves and then tweaking it, allows us to be in a better, more comfortable and healthier position to elevate ourselves.

Guys’ Guise

Timothy Egan wrote an op-ed in today’s New York Times (January, 17, 2014) offering a thoughtful response to Brit Hume’s recent comment that Chris Christie is merely a “Guy’s Guy”–an apparently endangered species.

You may have heard Brit Hume, that is, Senior Political Analyst Brit Hume of Fox News, refer to Governor Christie’s problem. It’s not that he’s arrogant, paranoid, testy, bullying or too blunt for the P.C. culture. It’s just that he’s an “old fashioned guy’s guy” in a “feminized” world — an endangered species adrift on a floe of mush….

…He said, “By which I mean that men today have learned the lesson the hard way that if you act like a kind of an old-fashioned guy’s guy, you’re in constant danger of slipping out and saying something that’s going to get you in trouble and make you look like a sexist or make you look like you seem thuggish or whatever.”

I appreciate Egan’s clarification and answer to a particular concept of masculinity (which  Brit Hume, et al. equate with strength):

If you say something that genuinely offends women, it’s not because you’re a brawny dude, speaking freely, or even standing up to the culture patrol. It’s because you’re insensitive to people in general — the daughters, wives and mothers of many a manly man. Or, at the least, it’s because you’re outdated, like showing up for work at a tech company with a cellphone the size of a shoebox.

What has been missing from the discussion, however, is the subtext that being “feminine” or our supposedly “feminized” culture is an insult. “Masculinity”, whether defined by Brit Hume, Bill O’Reilly, Rush Limbaugh, or articulated through Chris Christie, Phil Robertson (of Duck Dynasty fame), Sarah Palin, or many others who seem to defy the laconic male icon of yesteryear, seems to refer to a particular paradigm that they conflate not merely with gender, but with strength and superiority. Calling someone “a fag” or a behavior “gay” is meant to be insulting in this crowd. Small mindedness, is somehow rebranded as assuredness and strength. In this crowd, it’s bully for the bullies! Shooting from the hip is preferable to being hip–which, to the “Guys”, is just a feminized subculture of spineless socialists. In that universe, there is not a ying-yang balance of energies that we call masculine and feminine, each with attributes valuable to the health of humanity. It’s right and wrong (wrong = left, feminized); strong and weak; makers and takers. These are the masculine and feminine types of that world. In that world of “Guys and Dolls”, guys play with dolls.

The guys’ guise is feigning strength and security through righteous impasse. They not only feel threatened, and reject even their own possible evolution, much less the evolution of culture, (not to mention nature), but suggest that that which they describe as feminine is what undermines them. The ideals of strength and honor are not gender specific. Moreover, gender is beyond biology. It is a cultural construct, and like it or not, cultures evolve.

Our job as parents and educators and citizens is to build a better society and a healthier culture that elevates and broadens. Under the guys’ guise, being a loudmouth or intimidating is just being a guy, and guys are now victims of this henpecked culture. The guys’ guise is not really political (although it could easily be construed as such). It’s cultural. There are small minded people everywhere, and thugs and trolls left and right. Strength is not a guy issue. It is not the same as intransigence. Flexibility is not a gender issue. The habits of mind (and culture) that include thought, reason, consideration, reflection, flexibility, appreciation and expansion build strength. That’s not a guy thing, despite the guys’ guise.