Author: lou sight

Dismissal

Hasn’t it all been said already? The Valentine’s Day massacre at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School in Parkland, Florida yesterday killing 17, shot another round through the heart of America.

While I was getting ready for my Valentine’s Day dinner, a celebration of love and romance, the news was on with interviews with a teacher, students, the superintendent, doctors, and police. I had to leave the room. I had heard the initial reports and interviews a bit earlier, and the rehashing and inevitable platitudes and explanations were nauseating.

I heard the police chief urge, “If you see something, say something.” The heat of anger began to pulse through my arteries. If only people had said something? That was it?

I thought about the timing of this unspeakable act of terror in a school not far from where I lived until a couple months ago. The shooting rampage began near the end of the school day. I thought about the shooter’s’ plan: As kids would be getting ready for dismissal, on an especially social day, Valentine’s Day, the shooter could exact revenge for his own misery.

We have a gun problem in America. But that gets dismissed. We have a violence problem in America. But that gets dismissed. We have a mental health problem in America. But that gets dismissed. We have an education problem in America. But that gets dismissed. We have an economic disparity problem in America. But that gets dismissed. We have a Culture problem in America. But that gets dismissed. And we have a grave political problem in America that too many try to dismiss.

If your heart is heavy, as is mine, don’t dismiss the love you feel. Don’t dismiss the possibility you can envision. And don’t dismiss the reality of misery, violence, access to weapons, political cowardice, and the consequences—intended or otherwise—of dismissal.

Time Signature

I have been turning away from all the retrospectives of the last year. Not only do they tend to be highlights of awfulness and idiocy, but they don’t even feel like the past. It seems like an exercise in torture rather than in reflection. There hasn’t been space (or time) for reflection. Rehashing isn’t reflecting. It’s anxiety producing rather than enlightening.

2017 doesn’t seem like an unfolding of moments, but an unending cacophony that is unrelenting and without a coda, despite today’s date. But we still mark time, and move to its rhythms, and this weekend we get to celebrate the potential of the new.

Trump thinks he’s jazzy—always riffing and soloing, adding syncopated rhythms because they are unexpected and chaotic. He digs improvising governing. He just never learned the essentials, or the masters, or understands the distinctions that separate art from mere expression.

He has put his signature on this time of ours, at least in 2017 (and 2016). But there were other instruments that resonated during the year. 2017 started with The Women’s March, and by the latter months, the enormous chorus of #MeToo became a show stopper.

The Taking a Knee verse will be remixed in 2018, most likely beginning with the Super Bowl. The anthem of freedom has been reconsidered, and despite differing interpretations, real freedom does not diminish.

The Trumpist movement will be last year’s hit. Trump will keep rapping, but lacking artistry, he will be a pop phenomenon (which is all he wanted). Investigations and scandals, and ridiculous comments, will be the drumbeat until the coda. Meanwhile, we who have been Kind of Blue, can conduct ourselves in concert in 2018.

Happy New Year!

XYs: Ex-Wise

We are now in a moment of creating exes. Ex-media guys; ex-congressmen; ex- Hollywood guys; and soon to be many more exes across domains.

Why? (or Y you ask?)

The X factor has wizened up and spoken up! What should be apolitical—appropriate behavior and not making others uncomfortable (i.e. basic decency)—has become political as well as cultural. The tectonic shift that we feel is cultural. The fight (and the hanging on) feels political.

I think many men are confused and are asserting misunderstanding. The old “game” is played by different rules depending on the player. And many women (and girls and boys) were never playing the same game. They were parallel playing—smiling back and/or staying quiet not enjoying what was happening, just to get through it.

Many men are now astonished that there has always been so much sexual misconduct. There has always been sexual harassment (which became codified in the workplace in the 1980s), sexual abuse, sexual assault, and rape, which most people understand as aggressive behaviors and criminal. But a kiss? A pat on the tush? An “accidental” touch? A little flirtation?

Many (men) are actually confused. Well, a lot of women are not confused. Remember when the term “date rape” was coined? The definition of rape was not really changed; it was no longer contextualized to be limited to some sick/violent stranger. Women (and girls and boys) who had had sex forced upon them were finally being acknowledged as being victims of rape. And then we learned that such behavior was actually rather common. Such knowledge actually enabled us to be wiser.

Perhaps some of the confusion exists because men are thinking that sexual attention is always wanted. Well it isn’t. Not that kiss. Nor that pat on the tush. Nor that accidental brush up. And certainly not that exposure!

It is important to distinguish among the types of behaviors that fall under the sexual misconduct rubric, and it is important to delve seriously into serious accusations. False accusations have always occurred and will always occur . Bad behavior will always exist. But we are wiser and no longer tolerate what for many was barely tolerable.

So as the culture shifts toward a less limited understanding of sexual misconduct, and we wise up by standing up for decency, the politics will follow. I know it doesn’t feel like that at this moment that our culture is in flux, but all great social/civil rights movements began with cultural shifts that brought wisdom and political change. (Besides, power issues are often played out through sexual behavior.)

As for defending politicians who might have been icky rather than outrageously gross but “champions” of women’s rights or civil rights……I think it is wise to make them exes. It feels politically risky, but we see the costs of rationalizing indecent, irrational, insecure, stupid,  behavior. It has real political costs, and they are HUUUUUGE.

 

American Fall 2017

The last few weeks we’ve seen men falling from grace. Well, we’ve seen powerful (and unknowingly powerful) men who have abused, fallen from their positions. Whether abusing powerful connections to self aggrandize, or using status to euphemistically self aggrandize while forcing a woman or minor female or male to watch and/or participate in unwanted sexual acts, there has been an almost daily revelation of jerks who shouldn’t get off.

Yep…the 2017 Jerk Off. Sorry for being crass, but is there really a more perfect description?

Let’s go back a few weeks to the #MeToo moment. Women (and almost women) didn’t pile on to a hashtag for fun. It was an admission I never imagined, although it was an assumption as long as I can remember. Being harassed in a sexual way, even just by someone leering, has always been part of the female experience. Abuse is almost as common. Sexual misconduct is practically a catch-all phrase, but women (and girls and boys) know appropriate and inappropriate behavior. I thought men knew appropriate and inappropriate behavior too, but more and more it seems as though too many either don’t know or don’t care. Jerk Offs.

The #MeToo moment was empowering for women (and males who may have been abused as kids), but was astonishing for many men. The assumption seemed to be that there have always been a few bad apples, and power corrupts, but most of us live decently. HA! I suspect most women would reject that, at least in part. Most women learned very early on that they could very easily be preyed upon and have felt diminished by men.

But the American Fall of 2017 isn’t about victimhood, it’s about the Jerk Offs. It’s about exposing the Jerks, many of whom were once widely revered. Mostly, it’s about exposing those who have gotten away with abuse.

 

The American Fall of 2017 Jerk Off isn’t only about exposing sexual abuse. The Trump administration has been a textbook case in how to be a jerk. Inappropriate behavior has been the MO. For those of Trump’s ilk, disruption is all about being inappropriate. It’s about being unconventional and not having to play by the rules (or barely playing within the rules). Not unlike comedy, which exposes conventions and sometimes seeks to upend them, gaining attention and audience, Trump enjoys the shtick and the platform to bark and get responses. He thinks he’s funny—a bit of a comedian—and seeks power, wealth, and adoration. Oh, and he’s a misogynist and objectifies women, and even if he has been inside the law, cares little for appropriate behavior or decency. He’s the Jerk in Chief.

 

Then there’s the man child of Silicon Valley, Mark Zuckerberg, with Sheryl Sandberg leaning in by his side, claiming innocence and seeking to be absolved of any responsibility for whatever gets posted on their Facebook platform. They deny that their ginormous social media company and platform is media. I guess it’s just social. Jerks!

 

But amidst the American Fall of 2017 Jerk Offs, there has been the most horrifying abuse that actually gets diminishing attention each week, with each incident. Mass shootings tend to fall into a different category. They are perpetrated by nobody famous (until the shooting of innocents), so they don’t seem to be about abuse of power. But there is a common denominator to many of these mass shootings, thus far all committed by men.***(https://www.massshootingtracker.org/data) Domestic abuse preceeded the mass shooting. We know that not all shootings follow a domestic incident, but even without an incident preceding the shooting, the shooter is often one who could not or did not have appropriate romantic or sexual relationships. This is not to say that the act of a mass shooter is reduced to a domestic incident. It is surely more complicated than that. But the fact that so many of those who commit mass shootings have domestic issues (and easy access to an arsenal of semi automatic and other guns) is one that deserves much more attention.

 

Abuse exists in many forms and does not manifest in a singular manner. Sure, power corrupts. That we know and have always known. That is why we need limits and checks and balances on power in every domain.

Lack of power can inspire shameful behavior; irrational behavior; or worse. Power issues and weapons (of every sort) are toxic. We have a responsibility to address the weapons of mass destruction of our society and culture, as well as the issues of power that have people become abusers.

 

The American Fall of 2017, the season of the Jerk Offs, has been a season of exposing the abuse and the abusers, as well as their weapons of destruction. This is an opportunity. I, for one, am amazed and inspired by those who have called out the Jerk Offs. And this is the beginning.

T-Rex

 

“…they cling to guns or religion…”

 

“…basket of deplorables…”

 

“…moron.”

 

It’s easy to identify the speakers of the volcanic verbiage that erupted after terrible frustration, expressing antipathy and disdain. It’s really not ok to publicly disparage (or get caught deriding others, or one’s boss).

We’ve all had oops moments, but we aren’t Presidential candidates or Secretaries of State. Still, everyone is subject to one’s own reptilian brain.

The reptilian brain is the part of the brain that controls involuntary functions. It’s in charge of our survival. It directs our heartbeat, organ function,and breathing. It is responsible for sexual behaviors and our fight or flight responses. Our responses to danger or fear stem from our reptilian brain. Our anger or other emotions and actions that take over in response to a perceived threat are automatic. We don’t even think about it. The reptilian brain runs the non-thinking, automatic, involuntary functions for survival.

But clearly the reptilian brain is insufficient beyond survival instincts. Thinking and thoughtfulness advances us. The reptilian brain governs without thought. Of course, if we were having to think about each heartbeat and physiological response, we wouldn’t be able to consider anything else. And, sexual behavior and responses to danger are necessary in some measure to ensure the continuation of life.

It’s hard not to feel like we are in the Land of the Lost. “Land of the Lost” was a tv series in the mid 1970s about a family thrown back in time as they attempt to survive among the dinosaurs. In our own Land of the Lost, we see governance by fear. We feel terrified of our government, our neighbors, our technology, and all others—those who don’t fit into our images of what is right or good. Of course there are more good among us than those who get attention, but I know there are many people who feel as I do: that we are lost, and if not becoming dinosaurs ourselves, we are certainly living among them, and our reptilian brains are taking over.

That sounds rather alarmist, doesn’t it? Perhaps I am being too dramatic, but aside from my exhaustion and grief from constant verbal warfare, and intense hurricanes, and unspeakable violence and hatred, even against quiet protest, I am astounded daily by the lumbering leaders, proving themselves to be like dinosaurs— especially the lumbering leader in chief.

Somehow, this POTUS whose reptilian brain informs almost every response, seems to get away with reprehensible speech and behavior, and at the very least, incompetence. I was utterly astonished yesterday that the one known for “you’re fired”, didn’t fire Rex Tillerson, Secretary of State, after Tillerson evaded (but did not deny) the report that he called his boss a “moron”. Perhaps the POTUS isn’t phased by such a reptilian faux pas. I mean we all slip, right? And who speaks and acts from the gut without thinking more than the POTUS?

Even more astonishing to me though, was Rex Tillerson’s obsequiousness during his press briefing. Couldn’t he survive without this position? His instinct is to work for a man he thinks is a moron? T-Rex went from seeming strength to a big old lumbering….what’s the word?…..dinosaur.

And you know what happened to the dinosaurs. They became extinct when the climate changed.

The Noisy Trumpet

One day, when my neighbor and I went down to the basement to explore and play, we found an old, out of shape trumpet.

It had a price tag on it, with the numbers crossed out. Even the tag looked yellow from time gone by. It was in the pile of expensive stuff ( which we really shouldn’t go near), but it still looked kind of cheap.

My neighbor wanted to play with it. We didn’t know as much then as we do now, and we will know more tomorrow and each tomorrow to come.

But this old, out of shape, cheap looking, expensive trumpet was different from our usual finds. And I knew it was supposed to be an instrument.

My neighbor cheered with excitement at this discovery. Although the old mouthpiece was filthy, he put it against his mouth and blew.

The only thing that came out of the trumpet was hot air.

I told him,” That’s not how it works.”

But he didn’t care. He continued to blow hot air through that cheap, old, costly instrument.

I’m still learning, but I’ve seen real musicians play decent instruments. I’ve seen the orchestra, with all sorts of instruments playing together making music. I know that just blowing hot air won’t make music.

My neighbor thought he wanted to make music, and he thought he knew how. He was first interested in the trumpet, and wanted to hear it no matter what. He didn’t care that this noisy trumpet never made music; and it probably never would.

He figured out that if he made a buzz with his lips into the trumpet’s mouthpiece, he could blast a sound. Lots of the same harsh sounds.

What an awful noise came from that trumpet! Each time he played the trumpet, it only made more noise.

Now I am sure that it was just a toy. It will never be used to make music. It was less than a cheap instrument; it was a very expensive toy that only makes noise.

I learned that some of my neighbors enjoy just making noise. Lots and lots of noise.

Not too much later, we were bored of just noise and nothing else. And we had awful headaches. We tossed the noisy trumpet  in the junk pile where it belonged, and went back upstairs from the basement.

Soon after, I learned that the noisy trumpet, that only made noise, was a popular toy for Russians not so long ago. I guess they thought that the noisy trumpet could be valuable.

But even when all this trumpet does is produce noise, even with a lot of buzz, it’s a pretty rotten toy.

Sometimes on rainy days, my neighbor wants to return to playing with the noisy trumpet in the basement. I remind him that there is more for us to do upstairs, where it’s brighter, and we could make stuff work better. Especially without that noisy trumpet.

Is That All There Is?

By now I suspect that many have been watching/reading/listening to the news– especially since the Jr Don email bombshell– and have been hearing The Godfather Waltz (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PPskYVBqdNw) in their heads. The Jr/Fredo connection seemed obvious.

An equally apt, if not even better comparison, was made between Jr and Gob Bluth (Will Arnett’s character on Arrested Development—also a perfect title for these days). I hear that ukulele every time I see Jr Don.

Let’s create a Playlist for this ever unfolding story! You could add songs by category:

James Bond Theme Songs:

From Russia With Love
The Spy Who Loved Me
A View To a Kill
Skyfall

TV Show Theme Songs:
Get Smart
Family Guy
Arrested Development

Beatles Songs:

Please Please Me
Do You Want to Know a Secret?
Help
Baby You’re a Rich Man
Back in the USSR
Helter Skelter

Classics:

Anything Goes
I Wanna Be Loved By You
Is That All There Is
Unforgettable
Shake Rattle and Roll
Who’s Sorry Now
A Beautiful World

And more:

Signed Sealed Delivered
Gimme Some Truth
Upside Down
Burnin Down the House
Say You Say Me
Whatcha Gonna Do For Me
Thriller
Chain Gang
It’s No Crime
What Have You Done For Me Lately
Still Haven’t Found What I’m Looking For

You get the idea. Now add your songs to the Playlist in the comments here or on the FB post. Feel Free to add links to (g-rated) videos.
Play nicely. Let’s create a (g-rated) soundtrack for this Glass Onion of a story.

Reality Winner

Drip drip drip..… Leaking sludge..… Quietly exposing naked truth….. Releasing the fluid nature of hidden conflicts, shady relationships, questionable connections, while trustworthy historical international alliances, treaties, and accords are disparaged.

Trickle down economics doesn’t work, but trickling droplets of actual occurrences, conversations, meetings, statements, and other pesky facts, are puddling and flooding airwaves, bandwidth, eyes and ears.

Each daily shocking revelation is really no surprise; just a bit more proof of what so many suspect and are eager to lay bare. What seems so obvious must still be uncloaked, and we have procedures and laws which must be followed.

It has become difficult to sustain patience in the era of the tweet; just ask POTUS Trump. But reality will trump Trump.

Reality Winner, the prescient name of the first leaker of the Trump presidency to be arrested, exposed a top-secret intelligence report detailing Russian meddling in the American election from within a national security complex and sent it to The Intercept. But consider that this 25 year old woman is but one of over a million people with top secret clearance who have access to government secrets due to the post 9/11 expansion of security agencies.

Reality Winner is facing a difficult road ahead after her arrest. Yet, Reality Winner may just be the meta name of this era—not Trump.

History Buffed

I’m surprised he didn’t say Michael Jackson. Or Janet Jackson. Or Jermaine Jackson. Or even Glenda Jackson.

In an interview yesterday, POTUS Trump wondered why the Civil War wasn’t “worked out” and suggested that Andrew Jackson, who died 16 years before the war started, could have prevented the most horrific war in U.S. History. Oh, and he neglected to mention the word slavery, among any other facts.

The POTUS Trump’s ignorance is staggering, and his ability to “tell it like it is” is actually a pathetic display of what little ability he has to speak beyond childish simple phrases (albeit with unwarranted arrogance instead of naïveté). This is not merely about not being a great speaker, (which he thinks he is). This is about inadequacy, incompetence, indifference, and idiocy.

This is real news, (and yet, is this really news?), and real history. The POTUS is about making history, and The POTUS TRUMP is all about being an historic figure (although, he will probably remain historic for all the wrong reasons). I never expected any POTUS to be an historian, but I do expect presidential candidates, much less THE POTUS, to be real students of History.

But this POTUS is always distracted and seeks bright, shiny objects (and “Strongmen” where he has business interests). And where luster begins to fade (in his case, knowledge and ability), he buffs it up. Of course any kid who has ever taken an AP U.S. History exam knows, the causes of the Civil War is an essential question/prompt. Actually, every child learns about the causes of the Civil War in elementary school, before tackling the complexities of the conditions preceding the war in more sophisticated high school history classes. This POTUS really is like the Emperor With No Clothes. He is in the buff. He’s no history buff; just nakedly foolish and impetuous, caring only about enriching himself and his family, while feigning Populism.

How many history buffs will be created as a result of this latest ridiculousness? I hope many. What has happened here, and is happening around the world, is an obliviousness to History’s lessons. Those who rightfully feel like Democracy is not delivering fast enough, or the downsides of Globalism and Immigration, as well as technological advances that render many jobs obsolete, have reason to be frustrated and concerned. Legitimate concerns need not deligitimize all of reality, including institutions and forces that have many dimensions, and understanding actual trajectories and consequences, rather than fantasies.  This POTUS and others who claim a similar “Populist”/nativist appeal like to think that their personal histories are the most important, and that problems need not be complex. It’s so simple. Just ask the history buffs.

Who Knew?

Who knew “that healthcare could be so complicated”?

Who knew that deportation edicts could cause chaos and inspire hate?

Who knew that experience matters?

Who knew that respect is useful?

Who knew that disrespectful words and actions could yield hateful words and actions, and threatening and criminal behavior?

Who knew that racism was institutional?

Who knew that misogyny is alive and well?

Who knew that ultra-nationalism and xenophobia would resurface?

Who knew that anti-semitism didn’t die with Hitler?

Who knew that one’s personal gender definition and sexual preference would threaten others?

Who knew that differences could strengthen us and elevate us?

Who knew that hate always lurks under the surface?

Who knew that the press is the enemy?

Who knew that public radio, television, schools, and bathrooms are threatening?

Who knew that National Parks are unAmerican and a waste?

Who knew that Climate Change is real?

Who knew that alternative facts were made up?

Who knew that facts are facts, and that they matter?

Who knew that wars were always won?

Who knew that friends and family loyalty would be a potential problem for governing the USA?

Who knew that Republicans would turn a blind eye to Russian interference in our election?

Who knew that business deals can be a conflict of interest with politics?

Who knew that Democrats could be so ineffective and uninspiring?

Who knew that the term “working class” often refers to white people?

Who knew that teachers matter?

Who knew that the arts are essential to education and humanity?

Who knew that the sciences are essential to education and humanity?

Who knew that health is a right, and an essential part of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness?

Who knew that infrastructure would be so expensive?

Who knew that American-made would be costly?

Who knew that anyone, and any family in any and every community in the US can be afflicted by drugs and addiction?

Who knew that “The American Dream” was always a dream without consistent effort and reinforcement?

Who knew that cultural divisions would drive politics and governance?

Who knew that Democracy requires education, access, vigilance, tolerance, honesty, equality, and balance of power?

Who knew that a white billionaire developer’s hiding his tax returns before becoming POTUS would not be questioned, but a black senator’s birth certificate would be demanded after he became POTUS?

Who knew that W’s words would be welcome now?

Who knew that Moonlight was the best picture, not La La Land?

Who knew that not normal is normal?

Who knew? It’s simple: it’s complicated.